n my book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, I laid out what I believe are the seven basic principles of effective living, based on such immutable qualities as responsibility, integrity, respect, mutual understanding, patience and purpose. These principles are as true today as they were in 1989, when 7 Habits was published.

But technology has changed our world profoundly. Today we are under even more pressure in our professional and personal lives than we were a decade ago. I attribute this in part to technology, because it often has served to quicken the pace, and to separate us rather than bring us closer together.

Technology can be a great tool to help us become more effective - in our work and our relationships. Remember this and you are already a step ahead: Technology is a good servant but a bad master.

Now for the seven habits, revisited here to reflect the new challenges of life in a technological world:

1. BE PROACTIVE. Ask yourself, "Are my actions based on self-chosen values or on my moods, feelings and circumstances?"

We often feel we are victims of all the technology - e-mail, voice mail, pagers, faxes, cellular phones - that bombards us each day. We become slaves to technology and feel we must respond immediately without regard to the importance of the message.

Instead, the next time someone sends you e-mail or beeps you, consider how you can manage the technology in your life. Not many of us have the power to decree that we will no longer read e-mail messages at work and that everyone has to contact us by telephone or fax. But we can decide, for instance, that we will get our most important and creative work accomplished in the first two hours of each workday, then review and reply to e-mail messages later in the day. You also can let colleagues know you will not return their messages until a certain time each day. At home, discourage calls from the office and focus on your loved ones.

2. BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND. Ask yourself, "What would I want written on my tombstone? Have I written a personal mission statement that provides meaning, purpose and direction to my life? Do my actions flow from my mission?"

Many people decide they want to have not only a personal mission statement, but a family mission statement as well. Technology can help in formulating the statement by making it easier to communicate with relatives across the country by using e-mail or faxes. Soliciting feedback through e-mail is a great way to keep in touch, too. And families can use "instant messaging" to make communicating with one another quicker and easier.

3. PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST. Ask yourself, "Am I able to say no to the unimportant, no matter how urgent, and yes to the important?"

Because the cell phone is ringing, and the e-mail subject field reads "URGENT," we feel compelled to stop whatever we're doing to respond. But often these interruptions are not related to what we are trying to accomplish, be it a work project or reviewing a child's homework.

Technology can help organize our lives by giving us the tools to quickly schedule and keep up with our important commitments. For instance, hand-held electronic organizers make it possible to type in regular weekly meetings just once, and an alarm goes off when it's time for appointments.

Overusing technology tools can become addictive. Playing computer games constantly or surfing the Net all night can result in burnout and difficulties with relationships. That's when it's wise to resist the lure of technology and begin to say yes to what's important: Turn off the cell phone during family time; don't open the e-mail just because it's flashing.

4. THINK WIN-WIN. Ask yourself, "Do I seek mutual benefit in all of my relationships?"

Remember that technology makes communication more efficient - not necessarily more effective. To build a high-quality relationship, it's important, if possible, to have face-to-face interaction first. Second best is talking by phone. Then, afterward, quicker ways of communicating are fine - such as exchanging e-mails or leaving a voice-mail message.

Technology can help us make "deposits," or cause us to make "withdrawals," in another person's "emotional bank account." A deposit would be keeping a promise, being kind and courteous, clarifying expectations, making apologies, being open to feedback and being loyal to those who are absent. If you are talking with someone on the telephone and your call-waiting feature keeps beeping and you continually interrupt the other person to take calls, you are making a withdrawal: You are saying the person you're talking with is not as important as the calls coming in.

On the other hand, sometimes leaving a detailed voice-mail message on your phone when you know you'll be out is a deposit - it helps make callers' lives easier.

5. SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD. Ask yourself, "Do I avoid talking initially about my concerns and instead express my understanding of the other person and his or her point of view?"

To listen effectively, you must use the same tools of communication. Being technologically savvy is a requirement in today's workplace. If we are uncomfortable with technology and insist that everyone adapt to our outdated ways of doing things, we cut ourselves off from others. If we're techno-savvy, we should encourage others to learn.

Be adaptable, and realize that although technology has its limits, it is still possible to carry on a significant relationship without being face to face. After my father died in 1980, I decided I would call my mother every day. She died in 1990, and I missed very few days. Our communication was so constant, and we understood each other so well, that it made no difference whether we were talking by telephone or in person.

6. SYNERGIZE. Ask yourself, "Do I seek and value opinions, viewpoints and perspectives from others to create solutions that are better than I would have created on my own?"

When people can't get together in person to solve a problem, Web videoconferencing and instant messaging allow them to post messages back and forth and interact in real time. Also, families can develop and share creative ideas and work through issues using Internet sites such as myfamily.com, which offers families their own private, secure forums in which they can interact with one another, post events, share news and schedule appointments.

7. SHARPEN THE SAW. Ask yourself, "Am I continually improving the physical, mental, spiritual and social dimensions of my life?"

Overusing technology often means losing touch with nature, so regularly make time to step away from the computer and cell phone to take a walk in the woods. Keep learning by enrolling in courses on how to use the Internet, or learn a new software program - even if you don't immediately need it for your job, it could one day help get you your next job. Inspirational quotations can be sent via e-mail to friends. Humanitarian and non-profit Web sites allow you, with just a click of the mouse, to nurture your own spirit by donating time, energy and resources.

PHOTO CREDIT: Charles Ledford for USA WEEKEND