Ask a question: Dennie Hughes will answer questions from readers in RelationTips

Bring up the topic casually. The less alarmist you are, the more open the girls will be about their feelings. When your daughter mentions the Britney costume, tell her it's an interesting idea. Then ask why she chose Britney and what she thought of Britney's performance. That way, you'll get an idea of how it affected her. (Most likely, she didn't get the sexuality vibe and just found the whole thing "cool.") You can agree Britney is awesome but explain that she sometimes acts or dresses in a way that makes people think she's not such a nice girl. From there, encourage your daughters to tell you about clothing or behavior they find inappropriate in classmates or celebrities. You may be surprised to learn they actually do have a clear-cut idea of what's acceptable. As for Halloween, keep an open mind, but help choose one of Britney's more conservative looks. A recent video featured a neck-to-ankle red jumpsuit.

Don't give up hope on the stars your girls idolize. Off-camera, Britney speaks of saving herself for marriage. And songbird Mandy Moore has a "no belly button" policy.

Thanks to Illinois psychologist Paula S. Finn of The Finn Group for her input on this answer.