Issue date: November 12, 2000
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friend and I are vegetarians. But his family, unlike mine, is happy
to accommodate his eating preferences. Because of this, I really
want to eat Thanksgiving dinner at his house. When I told my parents,
they flipped out and are acting very hurt. I don't like to see them
like this, especially around the holidays. Now what?
D.S., Pennsylvania
Your parents' resistance may come out of the way you approach the topic, not
the topic itself. Face it: It's easy to become a little self-righteous
about your Earth-conscious choice when faced with opposition from
those who don't understand it. Give it another shot. But this time,
be very conscious about projecting any attitude. Give them a "compliment
sandwich": Put the not-so-wonderful news between two slices of niceties.
Tell them that you appreciate how hard they work to put together
the holiday dinner and that you're not looking to replace the traditional
turkey. Then explain why you prefer to eat with your friend, letting
them know you'd be happy to stay at home if they would consider
adding vegetarian dishes you like to their meal.
Finally, before the parental chef unit can object to spending extra
time over a hot stove, offer to make these edibles yourself. (Hey,
nothing makes a new family tradition more attractive than taking
the work out of it for others.) Knowing they can still have their
turkey or ham along with whatever you concoct in the kitchen probably
will convince your parents to go along with the program. If you
still want to spend time at your friend's home, do so, but keep
it to dessert. Visiting friends for the holidays shouldn't drastically
cut into family time.
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VEGETARIAN RESOURCES
For teenagers, the young-at-heart and anyone whose kitchen skills are pretty
basic: "The Teen's Vegetarian Cookbook" (by Judy Krizmanic, Penguin Putnam,
1999)
For free information on great vegetarian dishes, a guide on educating the
non-vegetarian, and pamphlets discussing the most commonly asked questions
about vegetarianism, write to:
The North American Vegetarian Society
P.O. Box 72, Dept. U
Dolgeville, New York 13329
or contact through site at:
www.navs-online.org
Vegetarian Resource Group
P.O. Box 1463, Dept. U
Baltimore, Maryland 21203
or contact through site at:
www.vrg.org
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