Issue date: December 10, 2000
How
can I get my girlfriend into therapy for OCD?
My girlfriend of
five years was recently diagnosed with OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive
Disorder), but she refuses to comply with her doctors and go to
therapy. When I try to get her to go, she breaks up with me until
I promise to drop the subject. I really love this girl, but it's
getting to the point where I can't take her crazy behavior. My friends
say I should cut my losses and leave. Should I?
K.D., N.J.
Not yet. It's possible that your girlfriend is avoiding therapy out of extreme fear. According to psychiatrist and OCD expert John Greist of the Madison Institute of Medicine's Obsessive Compulsive Information in Madison, Wis., the most effective treatment for the disease -- exposing the patient to the thing they fear most (say, touching a dirty doorknob) and then preventing them from doing the destructive ritual they've made up to "protect" themselves (washing their hands until they are raw) -- is often excruciatingly painful for the patient.
That said, talk to her again about therapy, but this time offer to go with her to learn how you can help her through this rough time. Try to get her family involved. Greist says that most obsessive compulsions stem from things that have happened within the family, and the patient benefits from getting the family into therapy as well.
If she breaks up with you, it's tough love time. Go along with it, letting
her know that you love her, and you don't want to be with her until
she's ready to seek therapy. It'll be hard, but stick to your terms
for her -- and your -- mental health. After all, it's pretty obvious
that the situation now is taking its toll on you. Hopefully, your
girl will find some courage in your love and support.
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Sources
for this article
The Obsessive-Compulsive Foundation
337 Notch Hill Road, Dept. U
North Branford, Conn. 06471
www.ocfoundation.org
For more information on helping a loved one with OCD.
Obsessive Compulsive Information Center
c/o Madison Institute of Medicine
7617 Mineral Point Road
Madison, WI 53717
www.miminc.org
For physician referrals and to purchase research materials.
Write to USA WEEKEND's RelationTips, 1275 First Ave., P.O.
Box 265, New York, NY 10021. E-mail: relationtips@usaweekend.com
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