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Resolution redefined: "ME-solution"

A three-step plan to make those New Year's promises to yourself stick this time.

By Dennie Hughes

I know, as of that magical date, Jan. 1, 2001, you're going to lose weight, go to the gym, quit smoking, get out of debt and contribute to world peace.

Or not.

New Year's resolutions: We all make 'em, and most of us break 'em before the Valentine's Day candy hits the store shelves.

How, then, to make them stick? Turn a resolution into a "ME-solution," something you do entirely for yourself, on your own terms.

Even though you may have a long list of things you'd like to accomplish, experts say that trying to change too many things at once sets you up for failure. With that in mind, be honest with yourself about the one that truly is the most important to you. Once you've chosen your challenge, turning that resolution into a ME-solution is just a matter of finding motivation, making a plan and putting it into practice.

STEP 1: MOTIVATE. A ME-solution starts with thinking about no one's needs but your own. Now that you know what you'd like to accomplish, write it down in big, bold letters, followed by the reasons it would be good for you. For example, quitting smoking would reduce your risk of cancer and fatten your wallet; losing weight would boost your health and self-esteem. The more payoff reasons you can come up with, the more you'll want to commit to the project. (Diet or exercise starters should be sure to include their doctor in this process.)

STEP 2: MAKE A PLAN. Again, it's important to actually write out how you intend to stick to your ME-solution. That gives you something to refer to at moments when you feel weak. List things that have to be done immediately (cut up high-interest credit cards) and consistently (make the kitchen a "no junk zone"); tell family and friends about your goal and ask for support.

Then look at the calendar. Are any social engagements or events coming up that could sabotage your best-laid "all about me" plans? Jot down ideas on dealing with them. I like to write my ideas on sticky notes and post them on a calendar.

STEP 3: PUT THE PLAN INTO PRACTICE. I say "practice" because that's what it takes to do your best. Think of yourself as an Olympic athlete, practicing daily to achieve that perfect 10 (also like an Olympian, forgive yourself those days when you backslide or don't perform at peak form). Set reasonable goals -- you have 365 days in a year to make a change, so don't stress yourself out by trying to make changes overnight. Studies have shown breaking a task down into steps and small goals (for example, thinking "five pounds a month" instead of "gotta lose 50") boosts your confidence and yields better results. If you have a setback, don't abandon your self-improvement plans. Figure out what caused it, go back over Steps 1 and 2, and try again.

Once your new ME-solution is an ingrained part of your life, you can start thinking about adding a second one. Follow the steps above each time and you're sure to succeed.

Remember, making permanent, positive changes in your life is no small accomplishment. Feel proud of the work you've put into becoming a better you, and reward yourself every time you notice improvements.

Happy 2001!

Dennie Hughes is USA WEEKEND's RelationTips columnist.