Win back your home life - Dennie Hughes Losing those aches and pains - Stephanie Oakes Return to a pre-tech world? - Jim Louderback Poll results: Do we love our computers?

High-Tech Reality

In many ways, computers have taken over our lives. Regain control with help from USA WEEKEND's experts.

Technology. Love or hate it, it's here to stay -- and in a big way. A USA WEEKEND Poll shows 45% of adults use a computer at home or work, but one in five considers computers their "greatest challenge." As dependence on technology grows, so do our doubts. Yes, more than half of teens have Web access, but for many parents that spells teen alienation 2001: Plug in, log on, drop out. Yes, laptops and cell phones morph bedrooms into home offices, but who wants to work all the time? And, hey, what's with the sudden backaches? Despite all the pluses of new technology, the minuses seem to be mounting, whether it's impaired psyches or aching bodies. Here, our expert contributing editors offer some guidance -- a high-tech reality check -- on how to overcome some of the newly encrypted emotional and physical challenges of digital life.

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Shift. Control. Win back your home life

By Dennie Hughes

TECHNOLOGY sure is great for keeping in touch with far-flung family: From e-mailing Mom across oceans to Webcaming a wedding for a homebound grandparent, our ability to stay connected to scattered loved ones has become a virtual snap.

But the very same tech tools that build globe-spanning bridges can create invisible walls under our own roof: kids catatonic at the keyboard, spouses sneaking out by modem, workaholics wired to the office 24/7.

The human disconnect at home -- caused by our new digital connections to the outside -- is just beginning to catch the attention of family experts. Evan Imber-Black, a psychiatrist with the Ackerman Institute in New York, notes "a general breakdown in quality family time." The culprit, she maintains, is non-stop access to the world outside the home. Her family practice now includes spouses confronting devastating chat-room affairs right under their noses and tech-challenged parents out of touch with their kids' newest obsession, the home computer.

The fact is, Americans have encountered such assaults on their castles before. Once, the birth of television presaged the death of the nation's families, or at least of healthy interaction, as they huddled with TV dinners around the tube instead of the dining table. Ultimately, we did learn how to use the "idiot box" wisely, setting limits on what our kids could watch, insisting on a rating system, getting savvier about imposing limits. Therein lie valuable lessons about this latest tech attack.

First, don't just embrace new gadgetry blindly or let it control you and your family. While it's doubtful computers will literally take over your household (as predicted in various sci-fi stories), you still can easily become a slave to technology, TV included, if you don't use common sense and set boundaries.

Next, remember it is possible to be too connected and accessible to the outside world. If the technology in your home takes away from quality time with your loved ones, it's time to unplug -- regularly. Here are some specific ways to avoid becoming a cyber-victim:

Constantly working? If you have a family or significant other, it's important to prioritize your time. Being home but attached to a computer, working late, makes you emotionally and mentally unavailable. Establish a time when the cell phone and computer are turned off for family time, and stick to it. Sure, career is important, but if you choose to make a commitment to be part of someone's life or start a family, honor it. Make them your priority.

Got kids? Place the computer in a public spot, like the family room or kitchen. That way, you can walk by any time, see what your child is looking at onscreen and casually ask about it without looking as if you're invading his or her privacy. If your child needs to go online for homework research, offer to help. Lots of sites are full of misinformation as well as inappropriate material that you can help your child bypass. If you're clueless about good research sites, ask your child's teacher for suggestions or head to a "safe for all ages" site, such as cyberangels.org, for referrals. Not as tech-savvy as your kids? Lose the ego and ask them to teach you. While you learn, your children get a sense of empowerment and feel appreciated (see Where on the Web).

In love, or looking? If you're single, find out your cyber-love's sexual history and views about online relationships. If you're married, be aware that chat-room flings have become extremely popular, and often the partner having them doesn't consider it cheating because it's "non-physical." Ask yourself this: How would my significant other feel if he or she read the e-mail exchanges with this cyber-friend? If the answer is "hurt," then cheating it is.

Talk much? You should. The human connection is more important than being all tech all the time. Slot an appointment in your Palm to spend time every day really connecting with your loved one. Knowing you two can personally chat will prevent him or her from looking for understanding in cyberspace.

Dennie Hughes writes the RelationTips column.

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Delete. Clear. Lose those aches and pains.

By Stephanie Oakes

Consider the impact technology has on our lives. Think about the time spent using a computer, playing video games or watching TV. We sit at computers with our chin thrust forward; talk with the phone clenched between chin and shoulder; or sit in meetings, on planes or in cars for hours in one position as we give our undivided attention to the task at hand. The resulting numbers of people suffering from back and neck pain and carpal tunnel syndrome are all the proof we need that we are becoming casualties of our information age.

And our poor form is not limited to work environments: Rounded shoulders can be seen at the gym, slumped over Stairmasters or stationary bikes. And it's not just adults: Our kids spend hours craning their necks to play or watch video games, and those backpacks they haul can weigh in at 15 pounds.

It's no wonder nine in 10 Americans suffer some sort of neck or back pain in their lives. But the good news is that 80% of it is muscle-related and that good posture is the cure.

Posture is influenced by the shape of our spine, the position of our muscles and joints, and the strength and flexibility of our muscles. To help keep the spine properly aligned, the key muscles to strengthen and stretch are the abdominals and lower back. When they are performing well, even when we're not thinking about it, our bodies stay straight, and we're better able to avoid painful and costly backaches.

Weight machines do not strengthen your torso (except those specifically designed to work that area) because they only provide passive support for your abs and back while you concentrate on another body part. On the other hand, free weights do help strengthen your center because you rely on your own body for balance and stability. But strength is only part of the equation. The four exercise methods outlined here are designed specifically to promote better posture not only by strengthening trunk muscles, but also by stretching tight necks, shoulders and backs.

Getting in the habit of sitting, standing, sleeping and lifting properly can help (for tips, see usaweekend.com; click on "Posture"), but each of these methods represents a long-term solution to painful posture as well as providing overall fitness. If you can, sample each type. You'll inevitably find one you prefer, and with regular practice it can lead you in a healthier direction down the information highway.

Pilates. This technique (pronounced puh-LAH-teez) recently became trendy, but it's been around for 70 years. Developed in Germany by Joseph Pilates, it has long been embraced by dancers. Pilates involves graceful, almost balletic movements executed either on the reformer (a piece of equipment that looks like a stretching rack outfitted with cables and pulleys) or on a mat. Mat work is ideal for people who don't want to be dependent on a machine, but the reformer, which offers extra resistance, is the traditional way to practice pilates. The basic philosophy is that the abdomen is the power center of the body; if it is used as an anchor, the rest of the body can be safely stretched and strengthened. Because the pilates method emphasizes fluid movements rather than short contractions, it's a great way to achieve maximum flexibility.

Lowdown: Available nationwide. For a class near you, call 1-800-474-5283 or go to pilatesstudio.com.

Yoga. This 5,000-year-old Eastern philosophy incorporating the mind and body improves posture by opening the spine, shoulders and hips. There are several yoga traditions, all of which combine breathing, posture and exercise. The physical postures, called asanas, are isometric moves that tone and stretch muscles, using your body's own weight as resistance. Each yoga tradition employs the asanas but has a different emphasis. No style is better than another; it's simply a matter of preference. Iyengar yoga zeroes in on the body's alignment by strictly adhering to the correct postures. Kundalini, the most relaxing form of yoga, concentrates on breathing and meditation; it is very conducive to stress relief. Ashtanga, also called power yoga, is a more demanding cardiovascular workout that involves quickly flowing from one posture to the next. Hatha yoga is a blend of traditions.

Lowdown: Available nationwide. To find a teacher in your area, go to yogasite.com.

Alexander Technique. An Australian actor, F.M. Alexander, developed this exercise method a century ago to solve his own vocal problem. Through extensive experiment and self-observation, he discovered that the relationship of the head, neck and spine is crucial in determining quality of movement and function. He called this "the primary control." When the neck muscles don't overwork, the head balances lightly, the spine naturally lengthens and the body's internal support system revives. He then developed a step-by-step process to restore the body's capacity for expansion and poise.

Private sessions can help you relearn positions for sitting, standing, walking, bending and reaching as well as refine activities pertinent to your life, such as working at your computer, carrying a baby or luggage, or playing sports.

Lowdown: Available nationwide. Call 1-800-473-0620 for a teacher near you.

Lotte Berk Method. Lydia Bach created this rigorous regimen in 1970 from the rehabilitative exercises of Lotte Berk, a German dancer. It's a hybrid based on the principles of stretching, ballet, yoga, calisthenics and modern dance. First, slow, sustained movements shape the muscles, then serious stretching elongates them. Light weights shape and tone the arms and shoulders, but all other work (on the floor and at a ballet barre) uses the body for resistance -- no machines and lots of body placement for improving posture.

Lowdown: There are Lotte Berk studios in New York and in Greenwich and New Canaan, Conn. Books about the method are available for $20; log on to lotteb.com or call 212-288-6613.

Stephanie Oakes is our Fit Smart columnist.

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Option. Return. To a pre-tech world? Never.

By Jim Louderback

LET'S FACE IT. Computers are not really easy to use. Your typical PC looks like a brick and sometimes seems as dense as one.

You may not realize it, but they are in fact much easier to use now than in the past. Early PC users couldn't rely on mice and graphics; instead we laboriously typed in long strings of memorized commands, like MEM, XCOPY and SUBST.

The first Internet users didn't have it any easier. More weird words were required, such as PING and GREP. GREP always reminded me of a cross between gastric effluvia and an excessively healthy snack.

Only a few years ago, wireless phones were huge, heavy behemoths. Today, the newest Internet-enabled cell phones are more functional, with larger screens that work by touch instead of keyboards only Minnie Mouse could use.

And remember Apple's Newton, an early handheld computer that was supposed to translate handwriting into computer text? I tried buying groceries on one, but "buy eggs" turned into "bvy exxs," "milk" into "nilx," and "butter" into "bvlles." Needless to say, we went hungry that night.

The good news is that useful technology keeps getting better and easier, from sleek new computers like Apple's PowerBook G4 to cool new Web browsers like Opera5. Today, Palm, Handspring and others produce smaller versions of the Newton that work reasonably well. Palm and Handspring PDAs were top sellers this past Christmas.

The Net now reaches a third of all Americans at home. And more than half of U.S. homes have a PC. Still, we are not a nation of geeks. The reason tech tools are everywhere is not that we all woke up one morning sporting pocket protectors, slide rules and bad hair. Instead, the products became easy enough for most of us to use.

Technology is at its best improving other parts of our lives. I've discovered truly wonderful and remote hiking trails online -- ones I'd never find elsewhere. Are you into skiing? Find the best snow online. Antiquing? Online auction giant eBay is the biggest curio shop in the world. Needlepoint? Download patterns and share tips and techniques through chat rooms and e-mail. Stamp collecting? Flying? Model trains? Whatever your interest, computers and the Internet can make it better. Online, I even found a dentist who uses my favorite pain-reduction therapy: nitrous oxide.

So don't despair when confronted with a balky computer or an avalanche of Web sites. The good news is, things are getting easier to use every day. And with a little effort, you'll find technology makes life better -- oddly enough, by making what you do away from it more rewarding.

Jim Louderback writes the Tech Smart column.

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Poll results: Do we love our computers?

How important are computers to the every day lives of Americans? Do we love them or hate them? Here are the results of our USA WEEKEND Poll:

They like me! Americans feel more positive than negative about computers in their lives. 30% see them as their "window on the world" and 10% call their computer their best friend. But 22% consider computers "their greatest challenge" - women more so than men.

Cars rule. When it comes to weighing the importance of computers against other daily essentials, computers don't cut it. Cars, having a good breakfast and the microwave all rank higher than the computer. What's LESS crucial to Americans than their computer? Their cell phone, treadmill and Palm Pilot.

The future. Almost half of those surveyed wish they will use computers more in the next five years and almost half say they want to use it the same amount as they do now. But there are a few Luddites - 7% - who hope they'll use computers less in coming years.

*The USA WEEKEND Poll was conducted in telephone interviews by Opinion Research Corp. Nov. 30- Dec. 3 among a random sample of 669 adult computer- users nationwide. The margin of error is plus or minus 4%.

Photos by DEBORAH FEINGOLD for USA WEEKEND (Oakes and Hughes); GERRY GROPP (Louderback)