Issue date: April 29, 2001

Our student editors

Matt Covert, 17, of Las Vegas, Nev. and Nicole Morgan, 17, of Hayward, Calif., were selected as guest editors of this year's special report on Teens & Parents. They spent two days at USA WEEKEND Magazine's headquarters in Arlington, Va., not only editing, but also fact-checking and seeing how we put together the 14th annual issue on teens. When Matt Covert and Nicole Morgan visited USA WEEKEND headquarters to help edit the 14th annual Teen Issue, they were also asked to write a short essay about assumptions parents make about their children. Our teen guest editors had no problem expressing what parents should and should not assume about kids, and they offer some suggestions of their own.

In this article:
What parents should not assume, by Matt Covert
What parents do assume, by Nicole Morgan
About the guest editors and Disney Cruise winner
Also this week:
The jury's back: what do your teens really think of you as parents?
The view from Santana High School
Dr. Drew on the Teenage Code of Silence
USA WEEKEND's Teens & Parents survey results
Statistics

What Parents Should Not Assume About Their Kids

By Matt Covert, 17, a senior from Las Vegas.

Often when a teen has friends that smoke, drink, or take drugs, parents immediately assume that their kid is doing it too. Sometimes that is the case but sometimes it's not. I believe each kid is his own person and makes his own decisions. Sometimes parents don't understand the difference between now and when they were a teenager. They think they have been through the same problems and have the answers. Instead of arguing or yelling, or even saying they understand what you are going through, parents should wait for their teens to come to them about it and then offer to help their child out. A teen can figure out the small problems on his own. At the same time, parents should always convey that they are available to talk to their teen.

Sometimes parents can make their kids feel too pressured. Teens like to feel older and mature, and to figure things out on their own. I think this helps a kid become more intelligent and more confident. A teen is never going to learn anything about him or herself if the parents just do everything or figure everything out for them. They may not ever think that they are pressuring their kid but in some cases they are. Parents believe they always have the right answers.

Another problem is teens' appearance. A parent will see their kid dressing differently so they think they are gonna act differently. In my opinion that is a kid just exploring other options in life, which is healthy.

I don't think it's all wrong for a parent to assume things about their child. They do it because they're worried and don't want anything to happen to their child, which is the most precious thing in the world to them. So in the end, I think it would be better for parents to have a healthy concern for their kids without assuming anything.

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What do Parents Assume About Their Kids?

By Nicole Morgan, 17 a junior from Hayward, Calif.

Parents make a lot of assumptions about their children today. These assumptions tend to start once their kids reach high school, which is when everything changes. Parents' assumptions can be about both very small or extremely huge things. However, for the most part, parents should not make assumptions, but be able to ask their children what is going on in their lives if they have questions.

Parents always wonder whether their child is lying to them, and kids do not always tell their parents the truth about what is going on. So parents, at one point or another, will be left in the dark. Parents also wonder whether or not their kids will get caught up with the wrong crowd. They tend to assume that the company you keep will affect who you are. They wonder if you are involved with drugs or sexual relationships.

I think some parents are scared to talk to their teens today. They wonder about stuff instead of coming out and asking questions. Some parents are scared of knowing the truth about their children; they figure that what they don't know can't hurt them.

A heart-to-heart conversation between parents and their teens is one way that parents can stop assuming the worst. Parents should approach their children in a way that shows concern rather than nagging. However, teens tend not to open up as much as they should to their parents or tell them what is really going on in their lives. That probably is what parents are most concerned about when they are trying to talk to their kids; still, they should not assume anything about their children.

About the guest editors and Disney Cruise winner

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USA WEEKEND Teen Editors Matt Covert and Nicole Morgan

Nicole, a junior at Moreau Catholic High School, is a point guard for her basketball team, runs track, is part of the social and mentoring group Jack and Jill, and an avid reader. She says she gets along well with her parents, except when it comes to curfews and her younger brother, who seems to get more privileges than she. The Morgans regularly go out to dinner and a movie and use this time to talk about issues of concern to any of them. "[Parents] should be able to come out and ask their children what's going on in their lives," she wrote in an essay for usaweekend.com. Along with allowing her space, Nicole says that her parents also encourage her to participate in community service, which she does by providing food for the homeless and mentoring kids. Upon graduation, she hopes to attend the University of California at Berkeley. Whatever path she follows, she hopes to have a positive effect on children.

Matt is a senior at Silverado High School and works part-time at a local restaurant. In his free time he enjoys mountain climbing with friends. He admits that his parents aren't always pleased with the crowd he hangs around with, but assures them that he's being a responsible teenager. He feels parents should talk to their kids and take responsibility for them as well, instead of blaming the media and entertainers for their actions. He's looking forward to attending UNLV, where he plans to study hotel management. He would also like to visit high schools to tell kids how important their relationship with their parents is. "A child is the most precious thing in the world for a parent to lose," he wrote in an essay.

USA WEEKEND Disney Cruise winner Tamay Sims

Tamay Sims, 13, is the winner of the USA WEEKEND Disney Cruise. The 7th grader at Ramsey International Fine Arts Center in Minneapolis, is set to the three-day trip to the Bahamas with her dad and two sisters. She has a lot to look forward to when she returns. The active teen's love for classical music has attracted her to the viola and the french horn, which she has played for years. Tamay, an honor roll student, also plays soccer. Tamay has four other sisters, who her mother Kim Sims says she often goes shopping with. Kim says that the family is very open with each other as well. "I think we have a good relationship. We're all honest, open and caring." As of now, Tamay has aspirations to become an actress.