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Issue Date: October 7, 2001
Behind the Laughter
by JEFFREY ZASLOW
For Damon Wayans, being funny is a family requirement. But away from the set of his hit sitcom, "My Wife and Kids", real life is proving a bit less humorous.
Photo by Robert Sebrees
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It's a strange time for Damon Wayans. Since he created a sitcom based on his adventures with his wife and four kids, he has gotten divorced, his children are dealing with issues too serious for a laugh track, and he finds himself feeling somewhat adrift. "The show has become my therapy," he says.
"My Wife and Kids", now beginning its second season (Wednesdays, 8 p.m. ET on ABC), lifts many of its storylines from Wayans' 19-year relationship with his ex-wife, Lisa. "We have four beautiful children and some wonderful memories," he says. "This is my chance to celebrate some of those memories." He admits, however, that his ex never liked having her personal life and sexual relationship with him "celebrated" so publicly, especially in his explicit stand-up act.
"She told me she wished I wouldn't do it. But I said, 'You're part of my life. I've got to talk about you.' " He also tells his kids that if they don't like his use of their lives as material, they should get their own sitcoms or stand-up acts and talk about him.
The fourth of 10 children, Wayans grew up in an apartment in Manhattan's Fulton housing project. He and his siblings had a rule: It was OK to heckle, tease and mock, as long as it was funny. Nothing was off limits. Bringing such an attitude to adult life can lead to anger and resentment in a marriage, but it has made the Wayanses Hollywood's reigning comedic family.
Damon, 41, became a breakout star on older brother Keenen's early-'90s sketch comedy show, "In Living Color". He then slid into movies ("Mo' Money", "The Last Boy Scout") and acclaimed HBO stand-up specials. Keenen directed, and younger brothers Shawn and Marlon wrote and starred in, the mega-hit "Scary Movie" and its sequel. Various sisters and next-generation Wayanses also are pervasive in the business. "All four of Damon's kids work here on the show, plus assorted cousins and a bunch of other people named Wayans," says Don Reo, executive producer of "My Wife and Kids". "It's a real sense of family and community."
For Wayans, exposing the inner workings of his show to his own kids -- two girls, 10 and 14, and two boys, 16 and 18 -- serves several purposes. As they struggle with the divorce (one son's grades had slipped so badly that Wayans hired a tutor to home-school him), it is important to have them close. But there's another reason they all worked on the show this summer, Wayans says. "So few people, especially young black children, have the opportunity to actually watch a show from conception to fruition. This town was built on nepotism. In the old studio days, [TV and movie sets] were a playground where kids could come and create. I tell my kids, 'I can give you a job, but I can't give you a career.' "
Though Wayans offers his kids opportunities he never had, he strives to keep wealth from spoiling them. He summed up his feelings in a bit of dialogue last season on his show, in which he plays the successful owner of a fleet of delivery trucks, living in an upscale suburb. When his TV kids told him, "We've got money," his character snapped, "I've got money. You're broke!"
Wayans tells his own kids the same thing. "I was 12 years old when I had my first job, delivering packages. After that, if I wanted money to buy sneakers or school clothes, my father said I had to buy it myself. My kids have closets full of clothes. I tell them, 'You want something new? Earn money and buy it.' " Wayans has a theory about the influences that mold a child. "It's a combination of genes, environment, economic status and how much food you have on your plate." So how much food was on his plate when he was growing up? "Not much. And for my family, comedically, that was the key to a lot of the humor. The less food, the more time to talk, the more to talk about. Some struggle is healthy. If you can embrace it rather than be angry, you can use it as your pilot light."
His children are growing up in an affluent, gated community near Los Angeles, but Wayans has learned that a gate can't fend off today's risks. Last year, Damon Jr., 18, got his girlfriend pregnant. "He asked me, 'Are you mad?' I said, 'No, but I'll be really upset if you don't take care of your responsibilities.' In our family, we don't abort. The more, the merrier. It took him a while to accept that challenge."
Wayans made no promise to help his son financially. "I didn't get the girl pregnant, but I'm not going to let my son fail. I'll create opportunities for him to make his own way, but I won't write checks for him. My son stepped up, mentally and emotionally."
In her eighth month of pregnancy, however, Damon Jr.'s girlfriend lost the baby. "It was devastating," Wayans says. But their relationship continued. "Now they have their youth back. I tell my son, 'Date. Be smart. Be careful. You weren't smart enough to use a condom. How are you going to handle a marriage?' "
Wayans brings such straight talk to his TV show, too. In spite of its early time slot, he doesn't shy away from mature subjects, says Tisha Campbell-Martin, who plays his wife. "Kids today deal with different issues than in the "Cosby Show" era," she says. "They've been exposed to so much -- "Jerry Springer", MTV, commercials. Damon wants to address real issues, even if it's in a light way." Topics have included everything from masturbation to drug use.
Wayans says he developed his work ethic and tough-love parenting technique by watching his own hard-working father struggle to feed 10 kids. "He got knocked down all the time. Knocked down, got up. Knocked down, got up." A Jehovah's Witness, Wayans' dad was a strict disciplinarian who believed in corporal punishment. But he also had an affable side. "My father was the guy on the block who said hi to everyone," says Wayans' brother Marlon. "He said hi to murderers. But Damon's a grouch. When he's hungry and sleepy, he turns into the devil."
Damon acknowledges he went through an angry-young-man phase. In 1985, at age 25, he landed on "Saturday Night Live" but was fired for not playing a character as scripted. Basically, he defied his bosses on live TV. Why? "It was frustrating, because I thought, 'I don't need to be here if I can't do what I do.' I was so angry I walked around with dark shades on. People asked, 'What's wrong?' I said, 'It's too white in here.'
"I was supposed to play a cop [in the skit]. I played him beyond gay. It would have been funny if I hadn't done it with so much venom. It was an act of rebellion as opposed to a moment of inspiration." He sees a lesson there that's worth sharing with his kids: "Nobody can stop you but you. And shame on you if you're the one who stops yourself."
Wayans still has demons. Since splitting with his wife last year, he purposely has not been involved with any women. "I'm kind of bitter. Until I feel I've buried all that baggage, it's unfair to put it on anyone," he says.
"He's smart to wait," Marlon says. "He needs to come out of the clouds. And after a divorce, kids hurt. His children need him."
Wayans knows he could find female companionship easily. "Being a celebrity, I don't even have to talk. I don't have to buy a drink." But he's not emotionally ready. "My show is my girlfriend," he says.
Late last spring, however, he was in New York filming "Marci X", a comedy in which he plays a rapper. "I was walking up the street and saw this woman. She was just a passer-by. She smiled at me, and my heart, for the first time in a long time, felt something. She didn't say a word. She was a good-looking woman, but it was her smile that got me. I felt like, 'Oh, my God!' " He even returned to that corner on other days at the same hour, hoping she would reappear. He still thinks about her "when I get lonely. I could see that smile every day for the rest of my life and be a happy man."
Told that USA WEEKEND Magazine appears in New York's Daily News and that perhaps the woman will read this story and remember him, Wayans smiles slightly. "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be," he says. "It was just nice to know that I could feel that feeling again."
Contributing Editor Jeffrey Zaslow last profiled Saturday Night Live's Will Ferrell for USA WEEKEND Magazine.
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WAYANS' best, biggest, quickest, weirdest
Best time of his life: "When people didn't know me and I was doing stand-up. That's when I was most creative. I didn't worry, 'Can I sell it? Am I offending anyone?' It was just me onstage with raw talent. And my marriage was perfect when I wasn't famous."
Biggest difference between him and his kids: "My kids have a competitive drive I never had growing up. I never thought about being famous. But my kids, my brothers' kids -- they think about trying to top what we did."
Quickest possible response time: After his divorce, "I moved seven minutes away. When my son stayed out past his curfew, I'd be there at the door. I've told my kids, 'I'm seven minutes away from a foot in your a--!' "
Weirdest idea in his head: "I'm writing a movie called "Eye Is Free". I'll play a slave who keeps running away. [To stop him,] they cut off his foot, then his legs, then his arms. At the end, he's just an eye, but he's free."
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