Dog gone
Got pet envy? You're not alone. A growing number of Americans - and their shrinks -
say being denied this creature comfort can really hound one's happiness.
By Michele Hatty
Lisa and John Rushing are dying to own a dog. But the couple, who live in a third-floor walk-up condo in the heart of Austin, Texas, know that their crazy schedules - Lisa's a software consultant who travels three or four days a week, John's a third-year law student - and their urban lifestyle leave no room for a four-legged friend. "It just wouldn't be fair to the dog. We're never home, and we don't have a back yard where a puppy could play," says Lisa, 29.
So instead of walks in the park with Fido, the Rushings are left with an empty longing. And they're not alone. Although pets are owned by 63.4 million U.S. households, there is still a strong contingent of people who want to have pets but can't for a myriad of reasons. Being unmarried inhibits some; only 15% of pet owners are single. As the economy sinks but housing prices remain steady, more people are stuck renting, often from pet-averse landlords. And at a time when people are busier than ever, more Americans fear they don't have time to care for a pet. The result? Pet envy is taking hold across America.
Stacy Quiroz, 26, of Atlanta, is a typical sufferer. The graduate student loved living with her family's four cats when she was growing up. As a child, she always thought owning a cat was a mark of true adulthood. But her own grown-up attempts to have a cat have been stifled by her living situations. Like many single twentysomethings, Quiroz has lived with a series of roommates since graduating from college four years ago. Unfortunately, each year she's found herself sharing space with at least one housemate who's allergic to cat hair. "I wouldn't want to trade my housemates," she says ruefully, "but I really want to have a cat."
Although Quiroz has a healthy attitude, longing for a pet sometimes can be so overwhelming it's destructive. Richmond, Va., psychologist Alan Entin has seen many patients who struggle with loneliness and even depression because they are unable to have a pet in their lives. "Most pets, especially dogs, bring unconditional love and acceptance to their owner. Pets lower stress levels, lower blood pressure, give a reason to play and to exercise, offer a sense of security, teach people how to share, how to care for another life. The desire for a pet can be strong and lasting," Entin says.
Clair Rankin, 59, can identify. The chemistry teacher from Solon, Ohio, still mourns the death of his miniature schnauzer, Gretchen, even after four years. He'd like another pet, but a promise is holding him back. "My wife originally agreed to get a dog on the condition that we have only one pet. I can't go back on my word," he says.
Robert Billingham, an associate professor of human development and family studies at Indiana University, agrees that the pet-envy phenomenon is real. But, he says, true sufferers should seek solutions. Renters might offer their landlords an extra security deposit in exchange for allowing a pet. Kids with pet-averse parents might start a dog-walking service. Those with allergies could ask their doctors about shots. Don't overlook the simplest remedies. "If you have friends with pets, spend time with them," Billingham urges.
He also encourages those afflicted with pet envy to be as resourceful as Nick Macri, 31. A typical Generation Xer, he lives with friends in a rented house in Arlington, Va. But the consultant is frustrated by his landlord's no-pet policy. So while he shops for a place to buy, he occasionally stops by an animal shelter to play with the dogs there. "Trips to the pound are usually to get a "doggy fix,' " he says. "If I spend a little time with them, they get a little love and can give a little love."
A renter with a pet-averse landlord,
USA WEEKEND's Michele Hatty lives in a house with three pet-envious roommates.
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