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Issue Date: December 23, 2001
Remote control
How interactive DVD will turn us all into virtual directors.
BY BRYAN TUCKER
FOR ALL THE WAYS Hollywood has tried over the years to immerse us in the theatrical experience -- Cinerama, digitally mastered surround sound, Smellovision -- movies have remained a form of passive entertainment, for better or worse. We sat in cozy multiplexes with complete strangers as some 20th-century machine flickered images across the screen. Then we got up and went home.
All that changed with the digital video disc. Today, it's easier than ever to get into movies. Just pop Die Hard in your player, select "The Cutting Room" from the animated special features menu, and (yippie kai-aye!) you can edit selected scenes the way you want to see them, complete with alternate effects. Which shot makes Bruce Willis look like he still has hair? As the virtual director, you decide.
The new crop of DVDs is the stuff of an armchair auteur's dreams. They offer more than just a backstage peek; they empower ordinary viewers by enabling them to participate directly in the movie through set-top games, trivia and multiple camera angles. With a NUON-enhanced player, you now can zoom into the mountains to reveal new simian landmarks in Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes. Or review a tally of questionnaires from the 1939 test screening of Alfred Hitchcock's Rebecca. (Are you so into movies that you long to see focus group results?)
Let's face it: We all think we could make a better film if we had the chance. Maybe it's the steady diet of entertainment magazines and TV specials that exhaustively detail the ins and outs of moviemaking that is getting to us. Heck, some of us probably know more about what happened on the set of Life as a House than about our own studio apartment. But the titles are not aimed just at aspiring Tarantinos. Exhausted parents eager to pacify their rowdy kids will love the Disney Platinum Edition of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, with hours of extras like a karaoke version of Heigh-Ho.
Eventually, movies will be a lot like music is today. Just as DJs remix songs for fresh sounds, soon we will be able to manipulate our own movie libraries to create unique film compilations. That's already happening with DVDs like Boogeymen, which takes snippets from horror classics and combines them into one giant monster mash. It's like someone loaded up a multi-disc DVD player with scary movies and hit "shuffle."
With movies becoming More changeable, it's only a matter of time before they will be able to interact with each other. Imagine combining two of your favorite flicks to get one really far-out hybrid. Some possibilities:
Forrest Gump and Apocalypse Now Redux: Instead of hopping the city bus, Forrest catches a gunboat upriver to visit a creepy Col. Kurtz, who lectures him on the many ways the Vietnamese cook shrimp. Kurtz tells Forrest that life is actually not "like a box of chocolates" but rather a journey through insanity, with Ride of the Valkyries blaring. "Insanity is as insanity does," cracks Forrest. Brando ignores him and makes a peanut butter sandwich.
Sense and Sensibility and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Director Ang Lee brings us the first Jane Austen martial-arts flick. A group of spinsters from the English countryside have been waiting for years to be swept off their feet. They conspire to steal a precious sword, only to find themselves kicking it out in a gorgeous ballet of hyperkinetic action staged on the rooftops of London.
Star Wars: Episode I and The Fast and the Furious: Shopping for a new dual exhaust system, Anakin Skywalker visits a customized detailing auto shop run by Dominic, a macho gang leader. The two trade in Jar Jar Binks for some jet fuel, build a low-rider light speeder and team up for an intergalactic drag race through the back streets of Coruscant.
Emmy-nominated Bryan Tucker has written for The Chris Rock Show and currently writes for Mad TV.
Go to top
Shrek and the gang on DVD:
They're believers
Gingerbread Man, how do you feel about people being able to tinker with your hilarious performance in the torture scene?
Gingerbread Man: "It's great. But be warned, Farquaad's a scene stealer. When the Pillsbury Doughboy came in to audition for my part, Farquaad just ate him alive. I mean, he literally swallowed the guy whole."
When viewers choose "play the movie" from the animated menu, you pigs dash into the nearby shed. What are you doing in there while the movie's on?
Pig No. 1: "We're watching Shrek, of course, in 5.1 Dolby Surround Sound!"
Pig No. 2: "Ya, Shrek installed this awesome home theater system in there!"
Pig No. 3: "Ya, that big bad wolf will never find us in here ... Did you just hear something?"
Hey, Donkey, we understand the fire-breathing female dragon had the hots for you right from the start. You must turn down a lot of babes.
Donkey: "I sure do. And it's only gotten worse now that I have a hit movie."
Shrek, has the public finally accepted you as a valiant hero and not just another pretty face?
Shrek: "I hope so, especially after all that hard work. But I like to refer to myself as a digital hero. 'Valiant' is so dated. Have you seen that transfer on DVD? I've never looked so good up close! Every green pixel on this old kisser just shines."
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-- Craigh Barboza
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