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New "covenant laws" may save marriages, but at what price?

Does making divorce harder help save marriages? Lawmakers in Arkansas, who just adopted a Covenant Marriage Act designed to do just that, believe it does. And they're not alone: Arizona and Louisiana already offer this type of marriage, and 20 other states are considering it.

Covenant marriage is a voluntary form of matrimony that requires counseling before taking -- or breaking -- vows, as well as a waiting period of as long as 2 1/2 years before a divorce can be granted. The idea is that if it's more difficult to end a marriage, people will take their vows more seriously. Some advocates want to go a step further and make covenant marriages mandatory.

With almost half of all marriages ending in divorce, could legal enforcement be the answer? Perhaps, judging by a recent Gallup survey for the National Marriage Project, which shows about half of men and women between ages 20 and 30 think laws should be passed to make divorce more difficult.

Covenant marriage laws seem to make sense at first glance. Studies show that couples who seek premarital counseling have a better chance of making a marriage work. Research has proved that 33% to 45% of couples on the brink of divorce may reconcile if they are legally prevented from divorcing within six months. Also, a law that makes divorce inconvenient may be just the thing to make people think twice before rushing into a union.

However, if you read the fine print on what the lawmakers are selling, you'll find some serious hidden flaws. According to Jeanne Carriere, a professor of family law at Tulane Law School in New Orleans, covenant laws are structured to be more beneficial to legal and counseling experts who bill by the hour than to couples. She says that "there is no real infrastructure in place to provide for people who cannot afford to pay counselors or lawyers" to sustain or dissolve these marriages.

Covenant laws also override current no-fault divorce rules that protect the rights of an abandoned partner to collect financial support. They contain loopholes for whichever spouse holds the financial cards. And even in cases of physical abuse, getting out of a covenant marriage often requires a long wait and face-to-face counseling.

The bottom line? Instead of bringing the government into your relationship, make it your responsibility to ensure your promise to love, honor and cherish is made to the right person. Don't ask for a law to make your marriage work; instead, take your time when getting to know someone, consult your religious leader or other relationship expert for premarital counseling, and trust your gut if you have doubts. Taking steps before walking down the aisle -- instead of relying on a law that keeps you in a marriage that never should have happened in the first place -- is the best route to happily ever after.

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