Ask us: Seeking questions from parents about kids and sex.

My ex-girlfriend, age 14, cut her wrists now and then, but not to commit suicide; it was just something she did. A disturbing number of girls I know do it. They say that it gives them some kind of release and that they're addicted. Some want help but don't know how to ask. Others think it's a healthful way of coping with problems -- it doesn't hurt, so it's not a problem. Why do they do this, and how common is it?
J.K., Massachusetts

Your friends aren't alone; it's estimated there are 2 million self-injurers in the USA, mostly white women and girls. Do not accept their denial that self-injury is harmful. It's a serious problem that indicates significant psychic distress.

You're right that they're not typically trying to cause serious injury or kill themselves. They use this behavior to deal with profoundly painful feelings for which they have no other coping mechanisms at their disposal. Ironically, hurting themselves is actually a way to feel better.

Princess Diana confessed to being a self-injurer, saying, "You have so much pain inside yourself that you try and hurt yourself on the outside." This habit can become addictive, but usually it's more of a symptom of a variety of psychiatric conditions separate from addiction.

To learn more about where to find help, check out the resources below. Additionally, useful books about self-injury include "Bodies Under Siege" by Armando R. Favazza, "Bodily Harm: The Breakthrough Healing Program for Self-Injurers" by Karen Conterio and Wendy Lader, and "A Bright Red Scream: Self-Mutilation and the Language of Pain" by Marilee Strong.

Contributing Editor Drew Pinsky, M.D., is co-host of radio's syndicated Loveline.