Issue Date: November 24, 2002

Rolling Stones vs. The Beatles and other dream match-ups

The hosts of ESPN's "PTI" play a game of eternal one-upsmanship

By Dennis McCafferty

Visit the set of ESPN's "Pardon the Interruption" (better known as "PTI"), and you're taking a serious swim in Lake Guy-ville. The place is a slacker's dream: flat-screen TVs and appropriate "toys" are plentiful, from a bobblehead doll of Shaquille O'Neal to a Sesame Street Elmo toy that actually does the Chicken Dance. There's perhaps the world's most impressive collection of cheap cardboard masks on sticks, allowing -- albeit strictly in a fantasy -- for Anna Kournikova, Joe Torre, U2's Bono and Mini-Me to gather in the same room. Yes, like Comedy Central's "The Man Show" and Fox's "Best Damn Sports Show Period," "PTI" has developed a loyal following of, well, guys. Guys' guys, to be exact. Guys for whom there is no greater sin than being caught in a bar drinking a Kir Royale.

But here's the twist: Critics praise "PTI" as the smartest, wittiest version of TV's "jock junkies" genre. Its hosts, veteran Washington Post sports scribes Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon, come across as well-rounded raconteurs hosting an entertainment talk show that just happens to feature sports topics.

Recently, both men chatted with USA WEEKEND Magazine and were able to shed fresh perspectives on a host of male-friendly topics in a "which is better?" debate, weighing in on everything from famous fictional crime families to cartoon babes:

The Corleones vs. the Sopranos?

Tony: The Corleones. There's not a man alive in America who can't quote line after line from "The Godfather" and "The Godfather: Part II".

Mike: Yes, there is. Me. I've never seen either.

Tony: You cannot be serious. These are the greatest American movies of all time. You know the lines at least.

Mike: I can't recite them, because I've never seen the movies.

Tony: "The Godfather" saga is on television once a week in America!

Mike: So are "The Sopranos", and you don't watch that.

Tony: I don't get HBO.

Mike: [Sigh.] If you did, you'd see what everyone's talking about. "The Sopranos" have captured audiences in a completely unexpected way. Who would have thought "The Sopranos" was going to be compelling television this long? I missed the first season, but now I am definitely with the program.

The Stones vs. the Beatles?

Mike: Neither. I'm 42 years old. I'm black. I'm from the South Side of Chicago. I couldn't care less about the Stones and Beatles. They don't mean anything. And I've got a close friend, Darryl Jones, who plays with the Stones, OK? That's "Plays With THE Stones!" And the band still don't mean anything to me.

Tony: The Beatles, no question. The Rolling Stones are the greatest rock 'n' roll band of all time. But they weren't innovators like the Beatles. And I think so much of Mick Jagger that I named my son after him.

College vs. pro hoops?

Tony: College. The pros are better athletes, but I much prefer to watch college basketball, even in the regular season. Until the NBA playoffs, it looks like the players are sleepwalking.

Mike: I completely disagree. You sit there on the baseline of an NBA game, and you can see there's not a college player in the world who, if inserted into an NBA game, could get his shot off. Even if the college player was playing the worst team in the NBA. And you know what else? College basketball is overly controlled by the biggest control freaks in the world: college basketball coaches. There's no game flow. It's simply an extension of the biggest egomaniacs in American coaching.

Dennis Miller vs. John Madden on "Monday Night Football"?

Mike: Madden. I'm a big fan of Miller on HBO. OK? Big fan. But Miller in the booth was a disaster.

Tony: I disagree completely. "Monday Night Football" brought in somebody completely new to see how that worked. I thought hiring Miller was a very smart, bold move. And I tried out for that job, and I didn't get it.

American cars vs. imports?

Tony: American. I went out and bought one of those Cadillacs, because I've always wanted to put my large American [rear end] in the most luxurious seat made in America, which is a Cadillac seat. And Wilbon goes out and buys 14 Volvos, because he wants to be safe in the winter in Washington, which only gets 3 inches of snow every three years. I, on the other hand, am trying to help the working man in America.

Mike: I not only have never purchased an American car, I wouldn't even be seen in a photograph with one. They're hideous. Imports look better and are more luxurious -- the only two things I care about. Besides, half the time, where are these "import" car plants? Alabama, Tennessee -- that's where.

OK, last one, guys. The desert island debate: Ginger vs. Mary Ann?

Tony: That's not the right question. The right question is, 'Betty vs. Veronica?'

Betty vs. Veronica?

Tony: Yep.

Mike: Oh, Tony! They're all the same! Betty vs. Veronica. Wilma vs. Betty. In my book, it's Betty. Then Betty.

Tony: No. It is sooo Veronica. There is no debate on that. Betty is cute ... but Veronica is a woman.

Kornheiser and Wilbon host ESPN's "Pardon the Interruption".