Issue Date: December 1, 2002

Holiday gifts for faraway friends
Our panel of experts on the art of finding the perfect present.
By Dennis McCafferty

Are most of your holiday gifts delivered to some far-flung region, by mail, as opposed to up-close-and-personal? That's not surprising. Fewer Americans these days live close to their roots than in years past, spreading loved ones farther apart. Gift-giving is difficult enough, but distance makes it even more of a challenge.

USA WEEKEND Magazine is here to help. For the third year in a row, we've assembled our A team of expert shoppers -- Neiman Marcus holiday catalog queen Ginger Reeder; celebrity shopper Allana Baroni; online shopping entrepreneur Hilary Billings of RedEnvelope; and author Robyn Freedman Spizman, the "Gift Guru" -- to dispense inside tips on the geography of giving gifts:

We struggle when buying gifts for someone who's far away. Can we simplify the process by giving something that represents our neck of the woods?
Spizman: Yes. This is something I love to do, especially when it comes to food. I live in Atlanta, and there are plenty of options when it comes to delicious gifts that represent my world.

You mean you send boiled peanuts?
Spizman: No! Georgia has much more than peanuts. There's a company called Very Vera in Augusta, which makes one of the best strawberry layer cakes I've ever seen. Or I may send Vidalia onions with a recipe book. Or, with Coca-Cola based here, you can buy a six-pack Coke carton and fill it up with goodies from your region. It's your own creativity at work. It's a great holiday gift to send to a family far away, or send it to a business associate in another state, so the whole office can share something from your back yard.

Reeder: Personally, I think the "regional cuisine" idea is over. We've done it. I don't need any more sourdough bread from San Francisco, crab cakes from Baltimore or smoked salmon from Seattle. At one point, I loved this. But my grocery store is smarter now. They stock that stuff.

When it comes to food nowadays, I like the whimsical choices we're seeing. I just got some unusual chocolates. They had a wasabi filling, just like at the sushi bars. Very spicy. It was just offbeat enough to surprise me and make me curious. At Neiman Marcus, we're selling a lot of what we call Cheesecake Pops. They're literally cheesecake on a stick. The point is: It's been a tough two years now for the country. People are looking to lighten up a bit.

Now, let's say you have nothing from your region you care to share. You want to focus on what's out and about in your loved one's community. How do you feel about giving tickets to a show or concert that's coming to his or her town?
Spizman: Make sure you know they really like the performer or show. My mom loves Frank Sinatra, but he's gone now. So I was going to get her tickets to see a Sinatra impersonator in New York. But she told me, "There's no substitute for Frank."

That demonstrates how this kind of gift is tricky. On the one hand, you want to surprise people. On the other, you don't want to give tickets to something they don't feel enthusiastic about. So I'll quiz other people who interact routinely with my gift recipients. I'll even ask their hairdressers to find out what shows or acts they'd like to see. A hairdresser can find out about anything.

Billings: Similarly, when it comes to game tickets, make sure you're giving them seats for a team or sport they're passionate about. What doesn't work is when it's just a generic outing, when it isn't really an "event" for the person you're shopping for.

What are your thoughts on just buying them the gift of time by, say, providing a lawn-cutting or landscaping service for a month?
Billings: Bo-ring. It's hard to make that special. In my view, it's no different from just writing them a check.

Baroni: I disagree. In Hollywood, people appreciate these things, because they don't have the time. Brad Pitt happens to enjoy landscaping. But he's away a lot, so this kind of gift would be appreciated.

Of course, Hollywood stars are not the only people who are busy and have to travel a lot. And these "personal services" gifts can show you paid attention to someone's interests while visiting. If you spent time with a niece who lives far away, for example, and discovered she loves painting or a particular foreign country, you can give her art lessons or private tutoring in that country's language. It demonstrates that you took an interest in her interests.

Where do you stand on giving a "gift" of a contribution to a loved one's charity?
Reeder: I've completely changed my thinking on this. I used to say it was a cop-out. But my husband really and truly doesn't need anything. If he sees something he likes, he buys it. You can never surprise him. So he asks that people give to one of his charities. For him, that's the best kind of gift.

Shopping for a niece or nephew away at college is tough. Does one just call up the university bookstore Web site and click away?
Billings: No. Kids spend so much time in these bookstores. They've gotten all the sweatshirts and coffee mugs they want.

Baroni: I agree. It's boring. Again, I'd suggest a service to save time and money -- two things college kids value. Buy them a Web site and a designer to really make it nice, for example, so they can communicate with you and their family by downloading pictures from college. Or you could arrange to have a Web cam set up in their dorm.

That's one way to bring the recipient closer to home! What are some other tips for bridging the "distance gap" with personal touches?
Baroni: I love making my own participation part of the gift itself. If you've spent time with a loved one's children reading, you can send them a half-dozen books with a note attached: "I can't wait to sit down and read these books with you on my next visit."