Issue Date: March 30, 2003
Teens' trashy fashions
It's fine to let your kids experiment. But if their clothes cross the line, tell them to clean up their act.
If kids mimic the tattoos and skin-baring outfits of stars like singers Pink and Christina Aguilera, what message are they sending at school?
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We can talk all day about whether it's good or bad that teen fashions have gotten so risqué. The fact is, they have. Now, how do you handle the situation with your kids?
There are implications to the way we present ourselves. If you have a blue mohawk and tattooed arms, people will respond to you in a certain way. If your skirt is barely long enough to cover your backside, you'll get a different reaction. Regardless of whether it's right or wrong to judge on appearance, it's a fact that probably won't change in the lifetime of today's young adults.
Dressing provocatively has powerful implications. Young men tell me all the time that they see it as a way for women to get attention or sex. To them, it's an "open for business" sign. Women say, "I dress that way for me; it makes me feel good." They're probably telling the truth, but they must understand that most men can't fathom that notion.
This all occurs in a cultural context where suggestive images are used to sell products. We don't have to continue being lemmings: If parents object to how a product is promoted, they should not allow their kids to buy it.
You can't assume 15-year-olds can make these decisions on their own. You may have a seemingly rational young adult in front of you, but his parenting needs are nearly the same as when he was 2. If you don't like what he's wearing, "no" is an acceptable response.
The best solution is dialogue. Discuss how teen pop stars dress and why there are different implications if your teens wear those same clothes to school. It doesn't necessarily mean zero tolerance: Let kids experiment, but then have them process their experience with you. How did those clothes make them look and feel? If you're not talking to your kids about these issues, you could be in trouble.
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