Issue Date: March 30, 2003

"You call that ethical?"

Our recent cover story on teaching children to do the right thing inspired debate and some interesting rebuttals from our readers.

BOY, WE CAUSED QUITE A RUCKUS with our Feb. 21-23 cover story, "Money, Family and Ethics: A Game Plan." Dozens of readers responded to writer David Batstone, a professor of ethics at the University of San Francisco. In the piece, Batstone offered advice on dealing with family ethical dilemmas posed by the USA WEEKEND staff. Readers, in turn, offered their own solutions to the sticky situations.

"There are no black-and-white answers to these topics," says Batstone, whose new book, "Saving the Corporate Soul & (Who Knows?) Maybe Your Own: The Eight Principles for Creating and Preserving Integrity and Profitability Without Selling Out" (Jossey-Bass, $26.95), is due in May. "It's more important for families to open up discussions about character and weighing consequences, so it's great that this exercise has inspired so much conversation."

We couldn't agree more. Here is a sampling of the original dilemmas, Batstone's responses and what some of our readers had to say:

Dilemma: Michele, 17, is a high school junior on the swim team. The team needs $300 to buy uniforms and asks Michele to head up the fund-raising drive. The coach tells her she can get the job done after school if she works on it about an hour a day for two weeks. But raising the money is much more difficult than anyone thought, and Michele actually spends three hours a day, plus considerable weekend time. She cancels baby-sitting jobs to meet the deadline. As a result of her hard work, she discovers an e-mail list of local businesses. She contacts all of them, and the response is fantastic. In the end, she raises $600, twice the goal. Is it OK if she pockets some of the extra money?

Batstone's position: Yes. She's due some compensation for work well done.

Reader rebuttal: No way. "Michele should give all the cash to the swim team," says Rich Maggiani, president of Burlington, Vt.-based Page Designs Inc., a father of three and a Vermont Businesses for Social Responsibility board member. "There is no doubt that she worked harder than anyone expected. However, it was her choice to cancel jobs and work longer hours. Implicit in her agreement was that all she raised would go to the team. If she expected compensation, she should have discussed it ahead of time."

Dilemma: Keesha, 16, has a big social studies report due in three weeks. Her library has only two Internet-connected computers. Keesha signs up for a two-hour block of research time, but the wait is two weeks. When her time finally comes up, she has already finished her report without it. (She turned out to be a research whiz, tracking down helpful books and magazine articles.) Is it all right for Keesha to use her computer time anyway? She'd love to play games and explore family vacation ideas. Or should she give up the time for the other students, because the computer is meant for school research?

Batstone's position: Why punish yourself for meeting goals ahead of deadline? Keesha should use the computer as she wishes but offer to help her peers with their research.

Reader rebuttal: School resources are for education only. "The school my son attends has a strong honor code," says Kathy Ashworth of Lafayette, La., a real estate/advertising executive and mother of one. "If the computers are meant for research, it is an honor violation to use them for games. It's that simple. Corporate computer time and employee time are valuable resources, and employees are accountable for both. It is theft of time and resources if resources are abused."

Dilemma: For Maria's 13th birthday, her grandmother gave her a $25 gift certificate from a books-and-music superstore and wrote in the card, "Enjoy buying your favorite books on me!" But Maria would rather buy Avril Lavigne CDs. Should she?

Batstone's position: Sure. It's her birthday. But she should still try to respect her grandmother's wishes by buying one book and one CD.

Reader rebuttal: A gift intended for books is a gift intended for books. "Mr. Batstone thinks it's fine to buy CDs -- who gives a hoot about Grandma?" says Meredith Ellsworth of Arlington, Va., a homemaker/librarian and mother of two. "But Grandma's gift is for books. If Maria uses the money for something else without asking her grandmother, she is lying. When Grandma asks her what she bought, what does she do? Lie again? Is Mr. Batstone's suggestion to buy one book and one CD not half a lie? Maria did not earn the gift certificate; it is a gift. Misusing it is rude."

Dilemma: Ed, 50, has put aside $3,000 a year for daughter Amy, 18, to attend college. But Amy is required to turn over one-third of her allowances and earnings to the fund as well. Her contribution amounts to about $300 a year. With interest, there's now more than $125,000 in the fund. As it turns out, Amy, a terrific soccer player, gets a full-ride scholarship to her top choice of schools. What should Ed do?

Batstone's position: Allow Amy the option of taking money now or later, possibly for grad school. If it's not used for education, split the money, giving 20% to Amy.

Reader rebuttal: Let Amy keep the money. It was set aside for her, after all. "Ed is reneging," says Robert Perry of Worthington, Ohio, a retired lawyer and father of four. "Unless Ed is not in a comfortable financial situation and truly needs the money, what are we teaching? That it's OK to divert funds from their designated purpose when a windfall comes along?"

Dilemma: Casey has two sons: Leon, 16, and David, 14. Leon always has been very motivated at school and gets straight A's. David struggles more, with B's and occasional C's. Casey wants to give David some extra incentive: "I'll give you $25 for no C's and $5 for every A,'' he tells him. Leon, who is offered nothing, objects. "You don't need any incentive," Casey reminds him. Is Casey's plan fair?

Batstone's position: You can't punish Leon for being more talented and motivated. Make the bonuses consistent across the board.

Reader rebuttal: OK, but why not employ a more creative, financially motivational tool to better use Leon's abilities? "The answer is to have Leon tutor David," says David Sher of Skokie, Ill., a retired chemist and father of two, "and give them both $5 for every A that David gets with Leon teaching him."