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Issue Date: November 23, 2003
BOOKS
The well-mannered man
He picks up after himself, always says "thank you" and never, ever spits (in public).
By Kelly DiNardo
Peter Post is on a mission. The great-grandson of the doyenne of manners, Emily Post, wants to turn every cave man into a well-mannered gentleman. His new Essential Manners for Men: What to Do, When to Do It, and Why (HarperCollins, $19.95) is a guide to nix the noxious habits of his fellow brutes and answer some of the most vexing etiquette questions from the masculine world.
On a date ...
The little things are important. Make her feel like she's up on a pedestal. Open up the door. Hold the chair out for her. Hold her coat for her. Stand when she enters the room.
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"I'm not saying guys are all bad or all good. They just don't know what to do 100% of the time, and that's when they get into trouble," Post says. Here, he gives USA WEEKEND readers some expert etiquette advice.
Good manners on the job:
Say "please" and "thank you." When we don't say "please," we're demanding something rather than asking for it. When we don't say "thank you," we are expecting rather than appreciating. It sounds so silly, because it's what your mother would have told you.
A big don't:
Don't be late. Being late is a mark of disorganization, and it's rude to the people expecting you.
Male role models in pop culture:
Charles Gibson on "Good Morning America." I'm constantly impressed by him. He treats people wonderfully.
Regis Philbin handles himself well with people in a way that makes them really enjoy being with him.
Three things every well-mannered guy should know:
Table manners are critical. Most important: Chew with your mouth closed.
Put the toilet seat down. Look at the rim of the toilet when the seat is up and ask yourself if you want to sit there.
Pick up after yourself.
Bodily functions:
Passing gas is the No. 1 question from guys! Hold it or excuse yourself to the bathroom. Avoid those little grossnesses -- coughs, sneezes and other gusts of wind -- that can make people feel uncomfortable.
Spitting (which is really grotesque!) is a second issue. Hacking up and spitting is not something others want to watch.
Why men should care:
Etiquette is about being considerate, respectful and honest. Think about the actions you're about to take, and ask yourself if that's a considerate thing to do. If it is, you're in good shape.
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