Issue Date: November 23, 2003
How do I convince my wife that, in these tough financial times, it would help if she got a job? She claims our kids aren't old enough (14 and 12) to be on their own. I've asked the kids what they think, and they are completely OK with the idea.
D.I., Kentucky
If you want to convince your wife, then stop consulting your kids and start talking to her. The last thing you want to do is give your kids the power to make decisions on how to run your household and make your wife feel her views aren't important.
She makes a valid point, actually. Although the economy is bad right now, the statistics for teens and preteens finding trouble when left unsupervised are worse. According to Charles Fay, a psychologist at the Love and Logic Institute in Golden, Colo., "crime and passion" among youths peaks between the after-school hours of 3 and 6 p.m. "Being old enough to feed themselves doesn't mean they're mature enough to make wise decisions," Fay says.
The first thing you and your wife should do is seek out a financial planner who can help you find ways to cut your expenses and come up with a better budget plan. (A not-for-profit group like Consumer Counseling Centers of America is a reliable, affordable place to start.) If the money situation is truly bad enough to require an extra income, try looking into at-home or morning part-time jobs so your wife can be home with the children. If a full-time day job is the only solution (and you don't have a trusted relative or neighbor nearby who can help), consider getting the kids into a supervised after-school program or the local Boys and Girls Club.
Once you and your wife have made a decision you can live with, only then discuss it with the kids so they can voice concerns and questions they may have about what the future holds.
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