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Can this marriage last?

As TV couple Trista and Ryan head to the altar, relationship experts weigh in.

You are invited to TV's latest "reality" dating show wedding. "The Bachelorette's" Trista Rehn, 31, and Ryan Sutter, 29, tie the knot on ABC Dec. 10. The question, which even "People" recently posed on its cover, is: Will it last?

I asked several marriage and relationship experts. Most are skeptical about a marriage predicated on a million-dollar payoff plus extravagant network-sponsored nuptials. Not to mention that expecting to find a lifelong partner through a prime-time courtship is "extremely unrealistic," says psychologist Dennis Lowe, founding director of Pepperdine University's Center for the Family. Reality dating shows, he says, are "anything but. One person has the power to choose who best fits their needs; the competitor who figures out what they're looking for and plays that part best wins."

But some -- granted, a minority -- like St. Louis University psychologist Tina Timm, think the marriage has a chance if Trista and Ryan devote time to their relationship out of the spotlight: "Private time has to take priority over the publicity machine."

Personally, I don't think the limelight or the money should ruin Trista and Ryan's prospects. What couple wouldn't jump at the chance to secure their financial future, and what bride wouldn't enjoy a fantasy wedding? Who isn't, to some degree, exposed to scrutiny by family and friends? How many struggle to schedule quality time together?

If these two are willing to do the work -- make time for each other, communicate honestly, respect each other's opinion, put each other above all others -- this couple, like any other husband and wife, may well be headed toward a 25th anniversary ... and probably a network special.

How should I address my husband's parents after 10 years of marriage? Should I call them Mom and Dad, go by their first names or use "Mr." and "Mrs." (which is what I've been doing but really hate)?
N.C., Washington, D.C.

It's interesting that after a decade-long relationship, (a) you don't feel comfortable enough with your in-laws to discuss the issue, (b) your in-laws have never approached you about calling them something a little more personal, and, most appalling, (c) your husband doesn't offer to help you with the dilemma!

That said, if the "Mr. and Mrs." thing truly bugs you, talk to your in-laws and be assertive. Let your husband know that you're going to bring up the issue, and elicit his support. Then tell his parents: "I'd really like to start the next decade together with a closer bond. I'll let you choose: Mom and Dad, or first-name basis?"

Giving them a choice that doesn't include the titles you hate leaves you in the winner's circle.