Issue Date: December 21, 2003
Men of the moment
What's behind the "metrosexual" phenom?
We used to shun shallow people. Now we celebrate them.
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We've all heard a lot lately about "metrosexuals" -- straight men preoccupied with things typically associated with gay men: fancy clothes, grooming products, fine food, design. Coined by gay British writer Mark Simpson in the 1990s, the term was meant to mock marketers' shallow concept of masculinity. Now the idea has had a resurgence, thanks to TV's successful "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," in which a team of five gay men "improves" a heterosexual by turning him on to the joys of better living.
What's going on here? Most of the "Queer Eye" subjects are trying to impress a woman, so I see this as a sign that women are looking for a less stereotypical expression of masculinity. It's been a complaint forever that the average man is not in touch with his "feminine side." I think women should look for someone with a balance.
When a straight guy starts focusing on products and appearances, it usually means he's interested in attracting and closing a deal with a woman. There's a potential danger here. Women often tell me they hate it when a man pretends to be something he's not -- the old bait-and-switch. There's nothing wrong with having grooming rituals or knowing how to entertain, but men shouldn't pretend they're "into" such things as a means to an end.
I'm also concerned that a preoccupation with surface things becomes a goal in itself. We used to mistrust and shun people who were solely concerned with superficial things. Why have we suddenly embraced shallowness? I think it's part of the emptiness of our time.
This is my final USA WEEKEND column. Thank you so much for your support over the years, and listen for me on your local radio station.
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