| Issue Date: February 27, 2005
From the tsunami zone: "Every night, I sit in bed and cry" During her assignment there, the images were unbearable. Now home, the CNN anchor says hope is the remedy. By Soledad O'Brien, our ParentSmart contributing editor
"As a mother, I want to touch all these kids and hug them."
| One mother tells me she will never forget the look in her baby's eyes as he was pulled under by the force of the tsunami. A father I'm interviewing live on the air tells me how he ran with his son to higher ground, but not high enough. "I shifted my grip," he tells me flatly, explaining the impossible. "I was trying to get a better hold on him ... and he just ... slipped out of my hands." He recounted, with tears, how his son, just 2 years old, had said, "Daddy, I'm scared. Help me." I am fighting to get through the interview and not cry. Our crew -- photographers who've covered wars and death and catastrophe before -- is barely holding it together. Our week in Phuket, Thailand, has been like this every day since I arrived. CNN sent me to cover the tsunami aftermath. Our second day, we visit a refugee camp near Khao Lak. It is full of laughing children. I gently run my fingers through their hair -- they're so sweet and quick to smile. A relief worker nearby chides me. In this culture, I'm told, patting someone on the head is an insult. I realize I'm doing it because I miss my own four children. Instinctively, as a mother, I want to touch all these kids and hug them, make them feel secure. The children take my sunglasses, learn to flip over, and fight over who will get to hold my hand. They are a welcome distraction from interviewing the adults. Every night after the show, where I spend three hours reporting all I have witnessed that day, I sit in bed and cry. Frankly, covering this disaster is the culmination of everything that is scary about being a parent: being unable to protect your child; brutal, painful death; unanswered questions. Upon my arrival home in New York, Cecilia, 2, dressed like Snow White, exclaims "Mommy, Mommy!" and runs to hug me. She wants to talk about all I've missed that day. I scoop her up, and she is as light as a feather. She smells so good. At 4, Sofia is much bigger and heavier. When I go to pick her up, I wonder: Could I have held on to her if I'd been caught in the tsunami? The twins are sitting in their bouncer seats. I run my hands over their bald heads, and they gurgle and drool. Cecilia pretends she is a crocodile, trying to bite me. Sofia is spelling words for me that she is trying to commit to memory: D-O-G ... C-A-T ... The babies have discovered their hands and are amazed by them. I am so-o-o happy to be home, inside my own house. Why does it take a terrible tragedy to forget the daily annoyances of life and appreciate all we have? Cecilia seems to have forgotten I was ever gone. But at night, Sofia holds my hand and snuggles. We say prayers for the victims of the tsunami -- we call it the "big storm" because she is just learning to swim, and I don't want her to be afraid of water and the waves. She wants to know what we should do for the people in Thailand. Should she send some of her dolls? Her clothes? I suggest we send some money from her piggy bank. Again, I'm amazed at the capacity of children, and maybe all of us, to be touched by stories. Even half a world away, we see ourselves in others who are completely unlike us, and yet exactly like us. I think about the children laughing and running around the camp. I am hopeful that they are stronger than the adults, more impervious to the horror, and that they will persevere and grow, even in the face of an unimaginable tragedy. Go to top
How to help An extraordinary flood of donations has poured in to charities since the Dec. 26 tsunami that has claimed some 160,000 lives in Southeast Asia. Both the American Red Cross and Doctors Without Borders say they have raised enough money for their tsunami response. But other charities working to meet long-term recovery needs are still taking contributions. Among those that receive high marks from the American Institute of Philanthropy: Action Against Hunger. The group will assist recovery efforts for at least two years. You can donate at actionagainsthunger.org. American Friends Service Committee supports medical teams and provides supplies on Nias Island and in Meulaboh, Indonesia. Call 888-588-2372 or visit afsc.org. International Rescue Committee has a two-year program to help rebuild schools, shelters and health clinics, and to assist job recovery efforts. Go to www.theirc.org or call 877-733-8433. AmeriCares' long-term program will provide equipment and supplies to rebuild hospitals and clinics. It also has emergency response teams who continue to supply medicine and water-purification treatments in Indonesia, India and Sri Lanka. Go to americares.org or call 800-486-4357. Lutheran World Relief and Church World Service continue to collect donations for long-term rehabilitation. For LWR, call 800-597-5972 or go to lwr.org. For CWS, call 800-297-1516 or go to churchworldservice.org. | 
