Issue Date: March 19, 2006

A sampling of registry policies

LIFESTYLES

Registering for china ... and sanity

Here's how to make this pre-wedding ritual painless for you -- and a gift-giving snap for your guests.

By Natalie Ermann Russell

With all the stress a wedding entails, the registry should be, in comparison, a piece of cake (not the three-tiered wedding kind, but rather the made-from-the-box kind). Unfortunately, it's often not. Heed this expert advice to make registering easier on yourself -- and pre-wedding shopping simpler for your guests.

Strategize
"Begin before you go in the store," says Millie Martini Bratton, the editor in chief of "Brides" magazine. "Go through your house and look at what you need -- what you want to upgrade."

"You want to think a little bit forward," says Darcy Miller, editorial director of "Martha Stewart Weddings." "People say, 'We don't need good china, because we don't have people over for dinner,' but at some point down the road, you will probably want to. My advice is to steer toward the more classic, basic china, and save trendy for the accessories."

When choosing items, always visit the store in person. "You can't tell by looking at the picture online how it feels in your hand, what it weighs," Bratton says. "There's some cookware that's marvelous to look at but too heavy to pick up."

And you want a mix of the traditional (flatware) and non-traditional (cordless drill). "A lot of people are getting married older and already have the pots and pans, so they register at Home Depot and REI (a sporting goods store) for things they really need," says Rosanna McCollough, editor in chief of WeddingChannel.com.

The consensus is that registering at two or three stores is ideal -- and the sooner, the better. "Registering early provides options for engagement parties and showers," McCollough says. But how many items should you list? She recommends multiplying your guest count by two or three so there's enough for those pre-wedding parties. And be sure most items are $50 to $150, which is what most people spend. "Brides often feel greedy putting so many items on the list, but no one's going to look at it and think that," McCollough says. "They'll be glad they have enough to choose from."

Get creative
Think outside the traditional gift box. "A store without a formal registry often will allow you to set one up," Miller says. "Brides and grooms who don't want to go to big department stores but love a little funky store should go in and ask."

In addition to traditional home décor, you can register for things like cooking classes, honeymoons and even down payments on a home (through participating banks). Charitable giving also is a big trend. The I Do Foundation (idofoundation.org) and WeddingChannel.com both donate a percentage of each gift purchased to the charity of your choice. JustGive.org allows people to donate money to specific charities that a couple chooses.

Do your homework
Read each store's registry policies to find out about exchanges, returns and shipping (see a sampling above).

Then visit (or call) to speak with a bridal consultant to get a sense of the quality of service. When you register with a store, you bring in a lot of business, so you should be treated well. "Forget bells and whistles; look for customer service," Miller says. "Michael C. Fina, a silver retail store, for example, will send you a card or e-mail to say what was bought," without sending you the gift. "Then at the end, you can decide which gifts you want without having to bring boxes back and forth. It's really great for a bride to know that she can change her mind after everything is bought."

If a store's protocol isn't clear, be sure to ask the important questions: What happens if a gift arrives broken? Who pays for shipping? Will I have a point person for my questions? How long can I keep my registry up? (Etiquette says that guests have a year to give a gift.) And find out if the store has a "completion" program, where you receive a discount on the remaining registry items after the wedding.

Maintain your list
After you've chosen everything, you'll want to regularly adjust your list online. "Most people watch to see what's being bought out of curiosity," McCollough says, "but it's a good idea to constantly update your list so there are enough choices at all price points."

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