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Issue Date: October 29, 2006
LIFESTYLE
2007's wackiest new calendars
Cute puppies are fine. But these are more fun.
By Phillip Zonkel
If you're into ironing stunts, exotic chickens or cow kidnappings, there's a calendar out there -- way out there -- for you.
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Is there any calendar concept that you haven't seen? There are colorful landscapes, syrupy romantic scenes and cute puppies. This can get old (except maybe for the cute puppies). USA WEEKEND was searching for something a bit different and found these wacky, weird calendars for your consideration:
Extraordinary Chickens
(hnabooks.com/product/show/3331, $12.99)
If your idea of an exotic bird is a chicken, this is for you. For March, the bearded gray Silkie chicken looks like a baby penguin wearing a Russian fur hat. For August, the depicted Cochin Frizzle white looks like it was tossed about in an unruly mosh pit -- what with a red, tiny head almost lost within a disarray of large, flung-about feathers. Want more? The pages are adorned with other amazing birds strutting (or is it clucking?) their stuff.
Extreme Ironing
(store.avalanchepub.com, in Pop Culture section, $12.99)
A new extreme sports trend? For December, this calendar features a jock precariously ironing on a high-altitude outcrop on Ellmauer Halt, Austria. (We wonder how he got the iron's extension cord to stretch that far ...) For July, participants don full scuba gear for an underwater ironing session in Geelong, Australia.
Men of Mortuaries 2007
(menofmortuaries.com, $15)
This puts the "buff" in the great beyond, a beefcake-heavy calendar displaying a dozen real-life funeral home employees. For October, one of the guys poses on a yacht, handing a cremation urn to a widow. The calendar's cover features the entire group -- yes, shirtless -- lowering a casket into a grave. Campy humor aside, the calendar is for a good cause, raising money for breast cancer patients.
Cow Abductions 2007
(willowcreekpress.com/cows, $12.99)
Shades of Mulder and Scully! These images are the ones the government doesn't want you to see: evidence of top-secret cow abductions by aliens. So what if these computer-enhanced photos (real pictures of scenery and cows, imposed with space-age illustrations) aren't the real thing. What's not to like about cows grazing in crop circles and getting beamed up to the heavens by a UFO?
The 2007 Parade of North Carolina's Abandoned Mobile Homes
(lulu.com/content/302986, $13.98)
This calendar demonstrates that, when it comes to real estate, it's not always about "location, location, location." For May, it features a mobile home with holes in the wall. For February, the concept of the "treehouse" takes on a new, literal meaning, with a property in a park depicted with pines growing through the floorboards. The images underscore a serious issue -- that there are about 40,000 abandoned manufactured homes populating the Southern state, according to the publisher. Local governments lack the money (at least $800 per property) and resources to remove them. The intent is that this calendar will inspire policymakers to address the housing problem.
Nuns Having Fun
(pageaday.com/catalog/2007_wall.html, $11.95)
This calendar proves that wearing a habit can't stop you from letting your hair down. After all, who could resist these nostalgic images depicting the lighter side of convent life, circa the 1950s and '60s? The calendar's nuns go skiing, fly downhill on a roller coaster and play a spirited game of Twister (making for some "twisted sisters").
2007 Lab BugsGoneWild.com
(bugsgonewild.com, starting at $19.95)
Ever seen anthrax spores close up? Relax, this is only a calendar -- one that "exposes" admirers to a dozen of the most-feared bacteria and viruses known to mankind. The resulting images are oddly captivating. For December, smallpox looks like a glowing, translucent space station, while November's tularemia resembles a fluorescent yellow-green Rorschach inkblot. West Nile virus, bird flu, Ebola virus, the plague, staph infection and cholera also are included.
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