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No church wedding

I am planning to marry a wonderful single dad. My very religious family has always dreamed I'd get married in a traditional Roman Catholic ceremony. But because he's divorced, we cannot have one. How do I get my parents to support our "alternative" wedding plans?
U.T., N.Y.

Don't be so sure that the only reason your parents seem so unhappy is because of the ceremony. Studies show that second marriages, in general, have a higher failure rate than first unions. Adding stepchildren to the mix doesn't increase the odds of happily ever after, either. The possibility that you could end up divorced (a huge Catholic issue) is probably a bigger concern for your parents than the wedding itself.

If you want to get them on board, be prepared to show them the strength of your commitments -- to your fiancé and to your faith.

First, show your parents a united front. The more they see you two together and how hard you've worked to make your relationship solid, the better they will feel about your union. Also, consider premarital counseling. It can improve the chances of your marriage succeeding. If you can find a religious leader who isa certified counselor, your parents may have more faith in your decision.

Also, engage in some spiritual soul-searching. Do you plan to stay connected to the teachings of your church? If so, let your parents know your intentions.

At this point, if Mom and Dad still aren't budging, it's up to you to decide what's more important: your marriage or your parents' views. If you are not ready to stand up for your union, perhaps it's time to re-examine this relationship and whether you're really ready to head to the altar.