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Move-in girlfriend?

I'm a single mom of an 18-year-old boy. He has asked if his 16-year-old girlfriend -- who, it seems, has a terrible home situation -- can move in with us. I'm uncomfortable saying yes, but I feel bad saying no. What should I do?
C.V., New Jersey

You are smart to pay attention to that little voice urging you not to react purely based on protective maternal instincts.

Bottom line: It's just not a good idea to let her move in. Taking in a minor without the parents' consent can open you up to major legal and moral issues.

First, you need to talk to your son, says Virginia-based psychologist James J. Crist, author of "What to Do When You're Sad and Lonely: A Guide for Kids." Find out how much he knows about his girlfriend's home life "to get a good picture of what this girl is about," Crist advises.

Then, talk to the girl and get as much information as possible about her "terrible home situation."

"You need to make sure she's not just rebelling because her parents are strict or don't want her seeing your son," Crist says. If you do hear something alarming, don't try to handle this alone. Crist advises that you call the school's guidance counseling office to alert staffers about the girl's situation so that officials there can take the appropriate steps.

Also, let your son know that you don't have anything personal against his girlfriend or their relationship. Explain, however, that without her parents' consent, you simply cannot let his girlfriend move in with your family.