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Prenup pitfalls

My fiancé comes from a wealthy family, and I knew early on there would be some sort of prenup. I was fine with giving up rights to the family fortune, but not with the parts about weight gain, child custody and other personal issues. What should I do?
V.D., Maine

I think asking someone to sign a prenuptial agreement to protect family or previously earned wealth from possibly becoming community property is fair. Prenupping a beloved pet you bring into the relationship may be a good idea, too.

But all bets are off once a document starts making demands about how you look or act, or if it threatens your spousal rights.

The biggest mistake that most people make is to respond with demands of their own, says California divorce attorney Robert Nachshin. "Couples with terms concerning weight gain, how often to have sex, or cash penalties for things like smoking, cursing or cheating are couples who need premarital counseling, not a prenup," says Nachshin, co-author of "I Do, You Do ... but Just Sign Here." It's not uncommon to have 10 to 12 pages of demands in such agreements.

With that in mind, here's what you should do: Get a lawyer to help you fully understand what's being asked of you and what your rights are. Child custody, for example, does not belong in a prenup. Next, tell him how angry and betrayed you feel. If he stands firm on his demands, give him back the papers -- and the ring. You deserve someone who treats you and your relationship with more respect.