Issue Date: September 30, 2007
Single moms need support network
I am a financially sound 38-year-old woman who is tired of dating losers and wants to have a baby. My family insists that a child needs both parents, but from what I can see, plenty of single moms do just fine. If I have great male role models in my life, how important is it to have a father at home?
M.U., Massachusetts
You're right. Lots of single moms do a great job raising their children. But here are the facts: Long-term studies show that a child who isn't raised with a positive father figure in the home often starts life at a disadvantage. Also, according to Jeffery M. Leving, who is the chairman of Illinois' Council on Responsible Fatherhood, the likelihood that fatherless children will drop out of school and get involved with drugs or victimization situations cuts across the spectrums of sex, age, race and family income.
Overcoming those odds, however, is possible. "You'll need a strong support network that includes caring, kind and thoughtful men who are willing to take part in raising the child," Leving says.
Your question makes me wonder about two points. If your family isn't happy about your decision, then who can you count on to be your support system in difficult times? Also, you say that you've dated "losers." Have you tried to figure out your role in attracting and choosing men who are losers? Remember, anyone you bring into your life comes into your child's life, too.
I think that before you take on this awesome responsibility, you should take a timeout to make sure you're mentally, emotionally and, yes, financially ready. Speak with a family counselor, and contact single-parent groups (singleparentsnetwork.com is just one online community) to get as much information as possible. The more you know, the better prepared you'll be to be a parent.
|
