A cure for cults?

A: If he is in a cult, show empathy for his spiritual quest, and listen, says cult expert Ronald Enroth. He believes that "kidnapping" and "deprogramming," in which loved ones force the person to cut off all ties from the cult, will only make him more determined to go back.

Is there a leader he puts on a pedestal?

Research the group. Tell him you're proud of how he has straightened up his life, and ask if he has any reading materials about the organization. (He may be suspicious at first if you two haven't had a heart-to-heart in a while.) Research the Web, and look for sites by former cult members that can give you insider information (start by checking out the International Cultic Studies Association's website at icsahome.com).

Pay close attention to his day-to-day behavior, says Enroth, a sociology professor at Westmont College in Santa Barbara, Calif. Does he refer to the outfit as his "family"? Has he distanced himself from you? Is there a leader he puts on a pedestal? "If so, the group may be questionable," Enroth says. If you see warning signs, tread lightly. Don't ever use the word "cult," call him dumb or threaten to tear him away from the group -- or worse, his girlfriend. The harder you come down, the more distance you will create. The most important thing you can do is be someone he looks forward to being around. Praise and encourage the good things he does, and avoid being judgmental. The more supportive the atmosphere at home, the less likely that someone else will pull him away from you completely.