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Issue Date: December 23, 2007
Lessons from the front
A World War II manual, of all things, offers advice about respect that applies to all of us.
By Peggy Post
"American success or failure in Iraq may well depend on whether the Iraqis like American soldiers or not. It may not be quite that simple. But then again it could."
These words come from Instructions for American Servicemen in Iraq, a 1943 U.S. Army guide for American troops sent to guard Iraq against Nazi infiltration. The text was resurrected this year by the University of Chicago Press, which showed it to Lt. Col. John A. Nagl. Nagl wished that he had read it before his year-long tour in Al Anbar in late 2003, and he has written a foreword to the recently reissued manual.
"A sensitive awareness of the feelings of others" works in any situation.
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Reading this 64-page gem, amid the explanation of the Iraqi culture and Arabic language, I was struck by how similar the advice is to that dispensed by the Emily Post Institute. Advice that, when followed, can be used to defuse situations that appear to be insurmountable.
"Handshaking in Iraq is considered an important part of good manners. You will be greeted with a handshake on every occasion that you meet an Iraqi. His handshake is cordial and sincere. Return it in the same spirit."
The text reminds soldiers: "By what you do and how you act you can do a lot to win this war and the peace after it. Show respect to others and they in turn will respect you. Fighting insurgents is possible only when the civilians they hide amongst trust soldiers enough to point out the bad guys."
There's a message for those who fret about doing the right thing to the point of inaction. Have you ever put off calling a friend who has lost a loved one because you don't know what to say? Have you ever worried so much about speaking to people from other cultures that you avoid them?
"The main thing is the spirit of politeness and courtesy," the manual says. "If you show this, the Iraqis will understand and forgive any lapses you may make through not knowing their customs."
"Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others," Emily Post once said. "If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use." Manners often are referred to as "common sense." And a little common sense really can go a long way.
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