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Issue Date: December 23, 2007
Opposing forces
A look at some of the biggest mismatches in pro basketball
By Reed Tucker
The National Basketball Association is a lot more diverse than it gets credit for. Where else can you find athletes as tall as redwoods playing against guys who might not be allowed on a roller coaster? Some teams have a high free-throw-shooting percentage; others have Shaq. With midseason approaching, we decided to call a timeout and draw up the most fascinating (and bizarre) opposites in basketball.
The Salary Captain and the Minimum Wage Guy
Kevin Garnett, left (Boston Celtics), will earn $23,750,000 this season. If, like last season, KG averages 39.4 minutes playing time per game, he'll earn $7,351.12 every minute.
Dominic McGuire, right (Washington Wizards), will earn the league minimum $427,163 this year. If he played the same number of minutes as Garnett -- fat chance! -- he would earn a mere $132.22 per minute.
Best- and Worst-Rated Player
Tim Duncan (San Antonio Spurs) has a 98 overall rating in Activision's popular video game NBA 2K8. Looks like those four championship rings give you the edge even in the virtual world.
Jerome James (New York Knicks) has a paltry 60 overall rating. The animated edition of the oft-injured big man isn't much better than the real thing.
The International Lineup vs. America's Team
The Golden State Warriors have six foreign players: Kelenna Azubuike (England), Mickael Pietrus (France), Marco Belinelli (Italy), Andris Biedrins (Latvia), Kosta Perovic (Serbia) and DJ Mbenga (Congo).
The Boston Celtics have none. So much for the global economy.
Courtside Seats and In the Nosebleeds
Los Angeles' Staples Center: To sit courtside a la Jack Nicholson for a Lakers game will cost you $2,300. At those prices, even Hollywood stars are crying foul.
Memphis' FedExForum: A seat on the terrace level to watch the Grizzlies will run you all of $5. Granted, "terrace level" is code for "so far away, you may as well be on your own couch."
Playing for the Home Team and Playing Far from Home
Udonis Haslem (Miami Heat) played for Miami Senior High School, which is about 5 miles from the arena where his current team has its home games.
Andrew Bogut (Milwaukee Bucks) plays more than 9,000 miles from his birthplace of Melbourne, Australia.
Mr. Fantasy and Mr. Forgettable
Shawn Marion (Phoenix Suns), the stat-sheet-stuffing forward, was picked in 100% of the Yahoo! fantasy leagues.
Marcus Vinicius (New Orleans Hornets), the seldom-used Brazilian who scored a total of 22 points last season, was picked in just .01% of the leagues. (Rankings were at start of registration.)
Long Name and Short Name
Vladimir Radmanovic (L.A. Lakers) is 18 letters. In Scrabble, his name would be worth at least a whopping 32 points.
Nene (Denver Nuggets), youngest in his family, goes by a nickname that means "baby" in Portuguese. Four Scrabble points.
David and Goliath
Center
Yao Ming, (Houston Rockets), is 7-foot-6. His wife, once a basketball player herself, is just over a foot shorter.
Point guard Nate Robinson, (New York Knicks), is 5-foot-9. He still managed to win the NBA's Slam Dunk contest last year.
Age Before Beauty
Forty-one-year-old Dikembe Mutombo (Houston Rockets) was born June 25, 1966, in Kinshasa in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. He was reportedly so upset about the constant jokes about his age that he considered talking with commissioner David Stern about how to stop the cracks by TV commentators.
Nineteen-year-old Kevin Durant (Seattle SuperSonics) was born Sept. 29, 1988, in Washington, D.C. He's so young, he wouldn't be allowed to drink the champagne pouring in the locker room if his team won the NBA title.
Covered in Ink and Barely
There
Allen Iverson (Denver Nuggets) has more than two dozen tattoos, including a screaming skull with the slogan "Fear no one" on his arm. A.I. says this one is because "you'll never catch me looking scared."
Kevin Durant (Seattle SuperSonics) has the name of his mother, Wanda, tattooed on his chest. It measures all of about 3 inches wide.
Best-Kept Hair and Most Unruly Do
Carmelo Anthony, (Denver Nuggets), likes to style his hair in tight cornrows without a single strand out of place.
Ben Wallace, (Chicago Bulls), lets it all hang out. Christmas gift suggestion: an Afro pick.
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