Issue Date: December 30, 2007
Rules of engagement
Is there any law about who gets to keep the engagement ring when two people decide to break up?
N.S., Ohio
When it comes to the ring, a proposal is an unwritten contract. Break it, and you lose it.
|
No, there isn't any specific law, but you can sue to keep -- or get back -- an engagement ring after a breakup.
Here is the unromantic bottom line, according to lawyers: "An engagement ring is a lot like a deposit in consideration for the promise (aka contract) of marriage," says Miami lawyer Jonathan Parker. That means whoever breaks off the engagement is not entitled to the ring, because that person has broken the agreement. If the decision to split is mutual or the ring is a family heirloom, it should be returned. And, when it comes to that heirloom diamond or setting, consider saving it for the wedding band instead. It's a safer bet that it will stay in the family.
Want to keep your engagement on the fast track to the altar? First, make sure you've both discussed getting engaged and that you are both on the same page about your future. The only surprise should be the way the ring is presented, not that it's being offered. Popping the question out of nowhere may elicit a confused "yes" and put your relationship on a shaky foundation.
Lawyers even suggest that you write a list of engagement expectations together. If cheating is a deal-breaker, make sure it's clear to both of you. (Legally, "cheating" is not a legitimate reason to terminate an engagement and keep the ring; it only comes into play after marriage.) This list is not a legal document, but it could help if you do ultimately end up in court. I say, if you're that nervous about the relationship, end it!
|
