Issue Date: June 1, 2008
To-do lists get personal
Websites encourage you.
Got a long list of things you need to do? You're certainly not alone. "Life list" books are best sellers, and websites for goal-seekers are proliferating.
Today's to-do lists aren't just about finishing that PowerPoint presentation or sending a thank-you note. They include relationship to-dos -- mending fences with an estranged sibling, renewing vows with a spouse, reconnecting with an aging parent. Sites such as 43things.com let you post a list of goals, then elicit encouragement from others to help you achieve them. It's list-making meets social networking.
And that's a good thing, says Frank Farley, a Temple University psychologist. A "we-" instead of "me-"oriented agenda actually improves the odds of success. "I've seen many people who've made positive changes just because they see how it affects the people they love," Farley says.
Ready to try? Some tips:
Drop deadlines. It's OK to have a timeline, but ditch any deadlines, especially if the goal involves relationship issues. Otherwise, you'll set yourself up for failure.
Get input. Loved ones may suggest goals that never would have occurred to you. Keep an open mind about them.
Make it fun. In between those long-term serious goals, mix in some fun, easier-to-attain short-term ideas that can give you instant satisfaction. You deserve it!
|
