Issue Date: June 22, 2008

What happens at your wedding could foretell a future

Wedding planners reveal telltale signs of marital mayhem on the way to the altar.

By Kelly DiNardo

Bridezilla -- that breed of bride who rants and raves her way to the chapel -- has become such a fixture of American wedding culture that a TV show and many websites and YouTube clips are devoted to the topic. Among the horror stories: the bride who demanded that her bridesmaids diet so they would look better in their dresses, and another one who wanted 38 cakes at her reception.

Of course, there's also the less-heralded but sometimes equally appalling Groomzilla, who does things like including a deposit slip for the couple's bank account in the wedding invitation.

These jaw-dropping moves make great tales, but such prenuptial antics can speak volumes about a couple's future. No one knows this better than the legions of wedding planners, photographers and florists who help more than 2 million couples marry each year. We asked a few wedding pros about what they see as the signs of a good (or bad) union.

Sweating the small stuff in a big way
New York event planner Jung Lee has seen her share of couples who can't agree on the small things, from the flower arrangements to the reception seating plans. Although some disagreement is natural, a screaming match over tulips vs. roses or chocolate vs. vanilla indicates a bigger problem. "If a couple disagrees over the minute details that really don't matter, or if there's a power struggle over little things, then that doesn't bode well," says Lee, author of "Fête: The Wedding Experience."

One-sided "I do"
"A lot of times, I don't meet the groom until the day of the wedding," says John Pacetti, owner of Timeless Studio of Photography in Freehold, N.J. "When I do, that stands out. I think the more involved he is in the planning, the more involved he is in the relationship. He's not just going along with her vision. It's a partnership." And the bride needs to respect that partnership. "Recently, I did a cake tasting with one couple, and the bride didn't let the groom speak," says Jacquelyn Mendoza, who owns San Diego Destination Weddings. "Every time he said something, she would pat him on the leg and say, 'That's nice, honey.' She kept shutting him down and treating him like a puppy."

Money pit
Money is a big relationship issue. "It worries me when couples don't talk about finances before they get married," says Steven Buckwald of Surroundings Flowers and Events in New York. "I had one bride who booked the entire party without her groom's input. A week later, we got a call from her fiancé. He saw the charge bill and said it was too much money. I explained we went over this with his fiancée, and he said, 'I love this woman, but she's going to kill me.' "

Friends' attitude
Friends help celebrate the big day, and how the couple interacts with them can point to potential problems down the road. How friends feel about your significant other can raise red flags, too. "If the bridesmaids have given signs they don't like the groom before the wedding, I would suggest the bride find out why," Mendoza says. "Is it insecurity about how the friendship will change, or is it a bigger issue?"

The parent trap
Parents also may be an indication of how healthya wedding couple's marriage is likely to be. "I was at one wedding, and the groom's parents were totally in love with each other," Mendoza recalls. "They were older, and this man adored his wife, and she adored him back. The son was the same way with his bride. It was clear that environment really taught him to be a loving husband."

A photo finish
"If they're both receptive to suggestions and having fun with each other during the photo session, I think that's a sign of a good relationship," Pacetti says. "If they don't want to be lovey or romantic for the photos, that [is a warning sign] for me."