Does my dog need a sex-change operation? Is my cat brilliant? Our pets expert shares your...

...Crazy questions

If you're a plumber, people ask you about their toilets. And if you're a pet guy, as I am, you're asked about pets' toilet habits. As you might imagine, I sometimes field some odd questions in my line of work. Here's a sampling of recent ones.

I have a 12-year-old female spayed dog who has begun to piddle like a male dog. She lifts her leg. She used to urinate once or twice on a walk; now, like male dogs, she urinates far more often on walks. Does my dog want a sex-change operation?
Our family dog, Lucy, began to do the same thing when she was just a tad younger than your dog. This began to happen right after her best friend, our beloved Chaser, became ill. Even though Chaser passed on, Lucy continues to hike her leg. I wonder if something similarly traumatic occurred in your dog's life. Or perhaps it's something more subtle, like a bully dog down the block whose pee is so intimidating that your dog feels the need to make a point.

"It's all about a change in hormones. It's not that the dog is rationalizing in some way, 'I should lift my leg,' " says certified applied animal behaviorist Patricia McConnell, author of "For the Love of a Dog." In any case, if you desire to speed the walk along, use a toy or some treats to encourage her to mark less and walk more.

Why doesn't my dog want to sleep with me? For years, my 35-pound mixed breed kept me company -- but now, when I put him on the bed, he jumps down. How did I offend my dog?
Usually, people want to know how to keep the dog off the bed. My best guess is that something scared him overnight, and he associated that mysterious scary event with the bed. However, I'm sorry to report, more likely your sleeping style is offensive. Do you scream in your sleep or snore loudly? Perhaps you thrash about like a fish out of water. If it's not your sleeping style that's keeping Bowser off the bed, this may work: Buy a cushy dog bed and place it on the floor by your bed. Encourage him to sleep there. Wait about two weeks. Now, choose a day when you know your dog is exhausted from a heavy-duty play session. Wait until he falls into a deep sleep. When he does, stealthily lift the dog bed with your pup in it onto your bed. Then, keep your fingers crossed that he won't wake up until morning.

I know how to deal with older dogs and cats -- but how about older reptiles? I have an aging, nearly 4-year-old leopard gecko. Any advice?
For starters, your leopard gecko isn't even old enough to earn gecko social security. Leopard geckos can easily live more than a dozen years. Even at 15 -- and that's a geezer -- they rarely act old. "When health declines," says Liz Palika, author of "Leopard Geckos for Dummies," "it fails quickly, and they may lose weight because they stop eating, feeling like they can no longer chase crickets."

Palika says you can help your lizard reach old age by supplementing its diet with reptile dust (vitamins for reptiles) and providing a cozy temperature.

When I tell my cat, "Let's do laundry," he runs to the correct room. If I say, "Let's go to the kitchen," same thing. Does he understand me the way dogs understand?
Absolutely. Felines understand every bit as much as dogs do (although sometimes they pretend that they don't). They understand through repetition and then reward, so I am not surprised about "kitchen," which I am sure lots of cats comprehend. Apparently, you do plenty of laundry, and your cat must enjoy being in the laundry room. Perhaps being in a room with you is reward enough. Or maybe he enjoys watching clothes going round and round in the dryer.