Issue Date: October 19, 2008
Bullying in the blood?
My husband was a bully back in high school and hurt a lot of people. Fifteen years later, my teenage son is that same person. Lots of my friends blame things that happen with their kids on "genetics." Just curious: Could this problem be genetic? If so, what can I do about it?
R.P., Colorado
Several new scientific studies suggest that a parent's genetic makeup may contribute more than previously thought to a child's propensity toward violent behavior. However, says clinical psychologist Daniela Schreier, these studies are preliminary, and a lot of research still needs to be done before one can say whether nature (biology) or nurture (environment) is the driving force behind your son's bullying.
That said, what's needed here isn't a genetic work-up, but quality time talking to your son and finding out what's going on in his life. This kind of behavior is often a cry for attention and help.
Also, look at what is happening at home. Perhaps the way your husband reacts to stress could be influencing your son's behavior. Children model what they see from their parents. Are there marriage or money problems? Adds Schreier, "It might even be as simple as a case of raging hormones and higher levels of emotionality."
No matter what the exact cause, be sure both you and your husband are actively involved in helping your son work through his problem.
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