Issue Date: February 1, 2009
Secret to a new you
I'm a resolution failure. I declare I'll lose 20 pounds, stop smoking and spending, and by the first week of February, I give up completely, say "Maybe next year!" and then spend the next few months overeating, smoking and shopping to make myself feel better. What's wrong with me?
N.A., N.J.
The same thing that is wrong with thousands of other "reso-losers" (myself included) out there: You get caught up in the "new year, new me" giddiness, and you actually believe that all it takes is a declaration to change your bad habits.
What you need now is not a set of tips to make next year's resolution stick but some advice to improve your relationship with you:
Pass on the pity party. Put a 24-hour moratorium on "woe is me" and find your inner strength by picking up a pen. Experts agree that writing out a plan and putting it up where you can see it is empowering.
Be flexible. Try some new approaches to achieving age-old goals such as exercising more or quitting smoking. Some may sound silly, but, hey, if your way has never worked, why not give it a try?
Don't focus on your failures. Think, instead, about the small successes you have had. For example, you may not have stuck to your diet religiously, but maybe you incorporated healthful foods and discovered that you had better energy. Taking credit for tiny triumphs provides the kind of emotional boost that keeps you motivated.
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