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Parents who let kids drink to help "fit in"

I went to pick up my 15-year-old son from a friend's "supervised" party. He came to the door carrying a "non-alcoholic" beer bottle. The parents said it was perfectly legal and that, served in a glass, the drinks could make the younger kids feel like they "fit in." It makes me very uncomfortable.
N.K., Georgia

Me, too. Google "teen drinking at home" and you'll find tons of stories about parents who have been arrested because kids have gotten sick, or worse. They thought they were helping kids "fit in" and "feel cool."

I spoke with licensed clinical social worker Stephen Terio, who says it's appropriate for teens to challenge parents and "fuse their identity with a peer group to achieve acceptance" as they struggle toward adulthood. But it's never smart for parents to change rules and expectations to get in good with their children.

You strongly expressed your concerns about alcohol, yet these parents still served up "non-alcoholic" beer, so they should be called on it, Terio says. These types of beverages almost always have some alcohol -- enough that, when consumed in large quantities, someone who's underage can get a slight buzz.

The more you share this story, the greater the likelihood that other parents won't be willing to let their kids spend time at this household. That could be enough to make these parents change their lax attitude.