Issue Date: June 21, 2009

Everyone wins

Lack a pro athlete's skills? Don't worry. These alternatives are fun and offer new chances at glory.

By Reyhaneh Fathieh

Some of us have never won anything in life, not a Little League championship, a spelling bee or a ballroom dancing trophy. So consider alternative contests -- kickball, air guitar and Rock Paper Scissors -- equalizers for the Everyman. You don't need relentless stamina, huge muscles or blinding speed to excel. Heck, some would say that no skill is needed at all. But they would be wrong, participants say, for all three require an edge to succeed. To learn more, USA WEEKEND Magazine spoke to two recent champions and one expert on these three competitions:

KICKBALL
Kickball once lived and died on the school playground. Then, in 1998, the World Adult Kickball As-sociation turned the kids' game into a legitimate sport. Today, WAKA boasts 75,000 registered players and more than 3,000 teams in 29 states. LaSalle Blanks, 39, captain and coach of the 2008 championship team, says kickballers take their sport very seriously. "When we won the final game, I fell on my knees and started crying," says Blanks, who led his team through a multi-game single elimination bracket. The TV news anchor and six-year competitive kickball veteran says the game is harder than it looks. Kickball pitchers hurl a variety of spinning balls, not to mention those that bounce and curve. "A lot of people think you can just go up there and boot the ball, but you can't," Blanks says. "The great players also need to bunt the ball well and run quickly."

AIR GUITAR
The U.S. Air Guitar Championships recognize those of us who are born to rock -- but just happen to not have any particular musical ability. This 24-city national contest encourages pretenders to strum a nonexistent guitar to their favorite song in front of a live audience. After two 60-second performances, the national winner is on his way to the Air Guitar World Championships in Finland, gunning for the top trophy, a transparent electric guitar (estimated value: $5,000). Could it really be that simple? Not so, says the reigning world champion, Craig "Hot Lixx Hulahan" Billmeier, 35. "People don't realize how long a minute can be," he says. "Around the 30-second mark, a lot of contestants start to wear out." You also have to convince the audience that you can really "feel it," that the song is inside of you. Going all-out helps. It can get so intense that people actually get injured in mid-jam. "I've dislocated my thumb," Billmeier says. "The adrenaline takes over onstage."Billmeier shows off his form for a baseball crowd.

ROCK PAPER SCISSORS
"Walk in as a nobody and walk out as a champion. That's the motto," says Graham Walker, 42, co-founder of the World Rock Paper Scissors Society. In keeping with that principle, the RPS championships have no qualifications for participation. All you have to do is show up. Besting two of every three throws wins you a game, and winning two of the three games in a match-up eliminates your opponent. If you're the last one standing, you are crowned world champion, awarded $10,000 and asked to appear on national TV. But don't stumble in wearing your lucky shoes and expect to sweep this contest. "Rock Paper Scissors is not a game of chance," Walker says. "You're dealing with two people who have to make decisions on each throw, so it can't be. It's more like poker. It's about reading people and finding patterns."