Issue Date: July 19, 2009
Sex as an addiction
It seems that today, when people get caught cheating, they cry "sex addict." Is there really such a thing? How come no one ever hears about it until it's connected to infidelity?
F.S., Ohio
There's a popular but controversial theory among experts that people can be clinically addicted to sex. According to psychotherapist Tina B. Tessina, author of "Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage," those with a true sex addiction are so obsessed with their need to have sex that they are dysfunctional in every aspect of life. "The need to have sex is stronger than any of their relationships, their career, their health or their reputation," she says.
What to do if you're dating someone new? Encourage him to discuss his past. You might be surprised by how much he's willing to reveal about his views on sex and commitment.
If you're married and your spouse claims to have a sex addiction, don't feel guilty if you can't forgive him for cheating or paying for prostitutes or Internet porn. "For better or for worse" shouldn't make you feel like you're being held hostage in a physically, mentally and emotionally damaging situation, especially when you consider that addictions are never completely cured. Still, you should encourage your spouse to get the help he needs, whether or not you decide to stick with the relationship.
Want to know about addiction treatment?
|
