Issue Date: September 6, 2009
How to divorce an elusive ex
My fiancée has been trying to divorce her jerk of an ex for about two years. Hoping they'll get back together, he keeps avoiding the process server and refuses to sign any papers. What can we do about this?
P.M., Virginia
The good news: Breaking up isn't so hard to do. As a matter of fact, says Pennsylvania attorney Sheilah Vance, author of "Land Mines," there are state laws (consult with your attorney about Virginia's) that authorize alternative means to put an end to your frustration -- and their marriage.
One of the most common is service by publication. "If you can prove that you have made a good-faith effort to locate and serve an individual by regular means, the court can authorize you to compose and advertise a notice in a legal publication and a general circulation paper in the county where your ex resides," Vance says. If he does not respond to this notice within a certain period of time, a judgment will be entered against him.
Consider hiring a lawyer (or looking into some type of legal aid) to make this go smoothly.
With that out of the way, your next step shouldn't be an immediate walk down the aisle. Wedding planning can be stressful, so enjoy some time together without another project that takes the focus away from your relationship.
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