TEENS & FREEDOM

10th annual survey results

Results roundup: What 218,350 teens said about freedom and rules.
Complete national survey results, plus look at the differences among several cities across the nation
Rules at school: 75% of teens would ban clothes with gang symbols at school. But, 83% oppose school uniforms.
New technology, from Internet access to the V-chip, poses dilemmas for kids and parents
Town curfews and mall limitations have gained popularity to fight crime. 50% of teens surveyed support nighttime community curfews for protection.
Tattoos taboo? 17% say tattoos on teens should be prohibited.
Results and comments from our Quick Poll about alchohol breath tests -- your rights vs. your safety.
Find out what battles over rights are being fought.
Roundtable: Teens talk to Tipper Gore about age limits and being allowed to make their own decisions.
Teen idols say they have limits and rules to follow, too

When can kids do "adult" things?

Teens on panel talk with Tipper Gore about being allowed to make their own decisions.

"At my age, you often make silly decisions. Say you want a tattoo today -- you may not want it tomorrow." -- Jabari Stewart, 13

"Parents have a false idea of the mall, like it's safe ... but sometimes there are conflicts." -- Helen Hills, 18

BY CESAR G. SORIANO

Every year, it seems, kids do more "grown-up'' things -- from dyeing their hair to having sex -- at younger ages. Is there a single, acceptable "age of consent,'' when teenagers are old enough to do the things adults increasingly seem to disparage?

Absolutely not, say teens who responded to USA WEEKEND's survey on Teens & Freedom. Given a list of items for which to pick an age when they should be allowed to do them, teens gave a range as varied as the activities. Average ages teens selected range from 13 (to be at a mall without a parent) to "not until marriage" (to be sexually active). And that doesn't include the many teens who answered "never."

The question "How young is too young?" was debated by USA WEEKEND's 10th teen panel of Washington, D.C.-area students, hosted by Tipper Gore, mental-health adviser to the Clinton administration, wife of Vice President Al Gore and mom of four. Like most mothers of teens, she has weathered her own parental challenges. "Rules are important ... and even laws can be important in helping young people at least wait until they are old enough to make certain decisions," Gore (pictured below) said. "Communicate with your child so they know why you are saying 'no' ... and for the child, let the parent into your life."

At what age can a kid be home alone at night?

Amy: A child should be at least 15 or 16, just [so that] if something happened the child would know how to handle it.

Jabari: Even at the age I'm at now I sometimes get nervous [at home alone] because it's dark outside and you get that itchy feeling in the pit of your stomach.

Amy: Even at the age of 18 I get scared!

Gore: It's not that we think, as parents, you're going to do something extraordinarily wrong, but anything could happen. Somebody could break into the house. You could do something like my son [Albert Jr., who] cut his finger and required stitches, and he wouldn't even tell us. He was 9 or 10. ... But even a minor emergency like that, you may not know how to handle it ... so I think 13 or 14 is a good age.

Shopping mall restrictions

Ajay: In the mall I go to, if you're in a group of four or more and you're not [shopping], they won't let you stay.

Gore: So the malls have gotten tough?

Helen: A lot of parents have a false idea of the mall, like it's considered safe ... but it's such a social scene that sometimes there are conflicts.

Jabari: My mom used to think malls are safe, but at the mall where I go see movies ... there was a car-jacking recently.

David: During the winter there's nothing to do ... so sometimes I go hang around in the mall with my friends.

Kimberly: [Malls' rules] are discriminatory.

Jaime: We were walking to the ice cream store and the [security guard] came up and told us to leave. We weren't even in a group of four.

Elainia: When I go it's usually two of us, and we never get stopped. But if it's four of us, we're guaranteed to get stopped.

Miyun: But you shouldn't go to a mall to socialize. Why not do something more original, like go outside and play a sport?

When can teens get a tattoo or nose ring?

Jabari: At my age, you often make silly decisions about what you want and don't want. Say you want a tattoo today -- you may not want it tomorrow.

Kimberly: It's just an immature act by adolescents, who do things impulsively.

Miyun: At our age, we can't really afford [tattoos]. Body piercing right now
is No. 1. ... Ears are fine -- but all over your face? That's a little much.

Helen: That's just because we're not used to seeing it on [places like] the belly button. I don't think we should say where is the right place.

Jaime: A boy in my class had piercings all over his face, and it was distracting.

Gore: I think I'll spend more time talking to my son. [laughter] It is a bit extreme, self-mutilation of the face. Should there be an age limit?

Amy: I think 18 for everything.

Jabari: But if there's a law, [teens will] find an unsafe way to do it.

Are schools' rules fair?

Ajay: There are some schools that really trust their students, and then there are some schools that think that their students are all bad.

Elainia: We have rules like you can't wear gang signs. That's treading on thin [ice], because then you have the right to judge what I'm wearing.

Miyun: There are lots of gangs, but ... a group of people could be called a gang.

Elainia: That's where it can get scary. Everyone has their own definition. I have a group of people I hang with every day. ... Would my friends be considered a gang?

Jaime: The no-pager rule is a good rule, because all the people who would be paging you should be in school.

Miyun: But some parents really want to be in contact with their children. Some kids do sneak pagers to school. I know a lot of kids who have cellular phones.

Gore: But the schools are not that far off to be worried.

Will you be more or less strict than your parents?

Jaime: I would be just as strict. They're not strict, but they're reasonable. ... I've turned out just fine.

Jabari: My parents don't have a bunch of ticky-tack rules ... just common-sense rules between right and wrong. They let me make my own decisions.

Miyun: I'll be more lenient. My parents were brought up in a different culture, and it's extremely strict.

Helen: I would be just like my parents. I don't see their rules as strict; I just see it as them worrying about me.

Gore: It seems like there's a resounding affirmation that rules in general are pretty good things. We do learn to live by them. ... They're a guidepost for parents and families to go by.