Issue date:
Dec. 11-13, 1998

It is late. I need to get to sleep. But I just wanted to say ...

I MISS YOU

Duty means being apart. Here's how one family copes with military life.

In this article:
Introduction
E-mail between Maj. Daniel Mahoney in Bosnia, and his family
A son to his father
Mankind's greatest invention
"Radzja will not be forgotten"
"I'll dream of you tonight"
Love, Mouse
Road rage, Bosnia style
"Thank you for being a part of my life"
Also:
Where are our troops now?
How to send mail to troops today
How we kept in touch in wars past

By Dennis McCafferty

fter 11 at night, when the cold mountain air is broken only by the sound of marching soldiers changing guard, Army Maj. Daniel P. Mahoney III logs on to his family: wife Jill, 37, and sons Dan IV, 14, who likes to be called "Sax," and Billy, 11, who goes by the nickname "Mouse."

Mahoney pecks away at the laptop he brought with him from the States, on a makeshift plywood desk in his office, an 8-by-10-inch portrait of his wife within view. Across 5,800 miles and six time zones, the family says good night.

There's little chance Mahoney, 37, will be home for Christmas. He's one of the 6,900 U.S. men and women in Bosnia trying to enforce peace in a land that may never know peace again. He's also one of a quarter-million Americans serving overseas this season.

For Mahoney, base commander at Camp Demi near the town of Kladanj, Bosnia, life is daily missions to mass graves, minefields and other haunting remnants of war. To keep his bearings, Mahoney goes online virtually every night with his family near Fort Hood, Texas.

Dan spotted Jill on his first day at Lehigh University in Bethlehem, Pa., in 1979. The two mechanical engineering majors were steady dates through college, where Dan was an ROTC cadet. They married in 1983. Since then, they've stayed together as Dan's career took him to Colorado, Germany, Georgia, North Carolina, New York, Kansas and now Fort Hood. But in August, Dan left, alone, for Bosnia.

The messages home and back are harrowing, moving, funny - and tell how love unites an American family while duty divides it.

On patrol in Bosnia: U.S. Army Maj. Daniel Mahoney, base commander at Camp Demi

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A son to his father

9/2/98, Billy e-mails Dan:

Hi, Dad! It's me, Billy. How is it in Bosnia? What are you doing? Is it hot there? Is it weird there? Are you tired of all these questions?

Love, Billy

Dan e-mails back:

Dear stinky question boy (aka Billy), "How is it in Bosnia?" It is busy but lonely here. I miss all of you at home - you know, the pretty person, the former turtle-head baby and the weird little kid who asks goofy questions.

"What are you doing?" Right now I am typing the answers to your crazy questions. What are you doing? You are reading - see, I told you I had special mind powers. I can always tell what you are doing.

"Is it hot there?" Is what hot here? Actually, the weather here changes each day. When the sun is out it gets up into the 80s - but if it rains, it goes down into the 40s.

"Is it weird there?" Yes. All of the houses have bullet holes in them. Two-thirds of the houses are totally destroyed. Since they have no gas stations left, people sell gasoline on their front lawns like a lemonade stand! The gas sellers go to a big city that still has a gas station, fill up old milk jugs with gas, and then bring it home to sell. All of the chairs here are purple. (I don't have any idea why.) Does that sound weird to you?

"Are you tired of all these questions?" What questions? I am not tired of the questions; I am tired of the answers. ... I love you, Billy, and had fun writing.

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Mankind's greatest invention

9/5/98, Dan e-mails his family:

The base camp has become overcrowded. A camp designed to accommodate 600 people is stuffed with 1,200!! I am getting tired of bumping into people while I brush my teeth.

Speaking of the bathrooms, I have decided that the greatest invention in the history of mankind has to be indoor plumbing! It is not too bad to walk to a central bath house while you are camping for a few days, but imagine having to do it every day for seven months! I really miss home.

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Radzja will not be forgotten

9/19/98, Dan e-mails Jill:

We spent the day at the war-crime mass-grave dig site. This one is very close to the road, and all day young men in small, beat-up cars would drive by checking us out. Remember, these are the same people who did all the killing and buried the people in the mass graves.

In the area where we were, the Serbs had held a large number of people captive for a while before they killed them. On one large tree by the road, some poor woman, who knew she was going to be killed, carved her name (RADZJA - the J is a Y sound) in the tree - probably so the world would not forget she once lived.

One of the U.S. soldiers saw the name, heard the story and decided to give his soon-to-be-born daughter that name. All his children's names start with R, and he had been looking for a good one for his daughter. I imagined that Radzja was very happy that she will not be entirely forgotten.

Well, sweetie, I would like to talk with you all day like this, but I have to get to work.

Love, Dan

9/28/98, Dan e-mails Jill again:

Hello, my beautiful bride. I just wanted to shoot you a quick note to remind you how much I love you. I am the luckiest man in the world to have you. You fill me with such joy that I feel I can't contain it sometimes. The nice thing about our love is that we have known how special it is for a long time. I do not find myself sitting here all depressed, saying, "Gosh, I didn't realize how much she meant to me!" I have always known how much you meant to me - and that is a neat feat because you constantly mean more to me each day.

Will you marry me ... again?

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"I'll dream of you tonight"

10/4/98, Jill e-mails Dan:

I have been going about my life as if I can handle this separation without any problem, but I know it's just an act. When reality hits me it feels like something evil has a grip on my heart and I feel like ... well, like my heart is breaking.

For 15 years, I denied we would ever have to be apart like this. I love you, and I'll dream of you tonight.

Love, Jill

10/5/98, Dan e-mails Jill:

Today was a LONG day. I spent the day at one of the mass grave sites today. The site was a bit larger than the last one, but it caused all the same emotions. Anger, sorrow, exasperation, more anger and a desire for revenge. It is not hard to see how the war quickly descended into madness - such barbarity breeds it. I really hate mass grave sites - and the people who created them.

I did have one nice thing happen today: When I returned from the dig site, I had a card from my lovely bride waiting for me. The day turned instantly brighter.

Love, Dan

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"Love, Mouse"

10/6/98, Dan e-mails Billy:

Dear MacroMouse,

I'm sorry for the long delay in writing to you, but I have been on a whole bunch of missions lately and have been getting back too late to hit the keyboard. How was your latest football game? Did you win?

We are putting a lot of miles on on our High-Mobility, Multi-Purpose, Wheeled Vehicle. Mine is called "the Beast." I have a three-person crew (four if you include me)... When I go out, I have 1,000 rounds for my M-60 machine gun (the main gun), 210 rounds for my driver's M-16 and 30 rounds for my M9 pistol... The armor on my vehicle can withstand up to .50 CAL machine-gun fire -- so I feel pretty safe. It is a mean little machine. Well, that's it for now, little muncher. Make sure you write back... I will be back before you know it!

Love, Dad

Billy e-mails back:

You wanted to know about my latest game, and what happened was we won finally. The score was 18 to 14. We scored three touchdowns. Wow. You have four weapons on your mean little machine. That's a lot. I can't believe people dig up graves for evidence. That seems like a bad job. Love, Mouse

At home at Fort Hood, Texas: Jill Mahoney, a high school physics teacher, with sons Billy, left, and Dan IV (with Jim on screen)

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Road rage, Bosnia style

We have a new name for Bosnian buses: "Terminators." Imagine this picture: You are driving along ... a solid rock wall on your right and a 400-foot drop into a river on your left. The road is 20 feet wide, winding like a corkscrew, and you are heading uphill. As you enter the blind curve in front of you, all your muscles reflexively tense because you KNOW from experience that something is going to meet you on the curve going the other way. You heard the call on the radio from the petrified guy up ahead that there is a full-sized bus roaring down the hill toward you. Suddenly your windshield is full -- the 10-foot-wide bus materializes in the curve, 5 feet over the center line into your lane, only 50 feet ahead. The driver turns to the right (a bit, remember the rock wall) and slams on the brakes. The sound of screeching tires and the acrid smell of burning rubber fill the cabin. The bus blasts its horn, veers to the right and misses you by 2 inches. "Well, at least we are almost halfway there," you say to console yourself. Suddenly the radio blares, "Lancer 7, this is Animal 21 -- Terminator coming your way."

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"Thank you for being a part of my life"

Dear Dad, In the marching contest, we got a measly 22nd out of 28. This is the first time in the history of Killeen High that we did not make the finals. Oh, well, there's always next year. The big game is tonight (Killeen vs. Ellison) so I literally have to eat and run. I hope we win. GO ROOS!!!!!

10/13/98, Dan e-mails Jill:

It was wonderful to hear your melodic voice this morning -- it was like a cool drink of water to a man dying of thirst. That's it! I have finally stumbled upon the correct simile: Being without you is just like suffering from thirst. I thirst for you. I grow gradually more parched, dry and lifeless without you, and only long contact with you will heal me. It is late and I need to get to sleep, but I just wanted to say I miss you, I long for you, I thirst for you and I am completely miserable without you. I love you, my wife.

Love, Thirsty Boy (aka Dan)

Jill e-mails back:

Dear sweet Dan, Thank you for the loving message about thirsting for me. I needed to read those words today. I had an upsetting dream and a restless sleep last night, so your message was a comfort. You have the ability to reach out and caress my soul even from thousands of miles away. I love you.

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Where Our Troops are

As of mid-1998, about a quarter-million Americans were serving overseas in the U.S. military. Here's where most were stationed:

Germany: 63,494
Japan: 40,621
Korea: 34,195 United Kingdom: 11,267
Italy: 11,214

How to send mail to troops today

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Keeping in touch in wars past

World War I: Letters take two to three weeks to travel overseas.
World War II: Officials photograph letters written on government-issued stationery, called Victory Mail, ship the film overseas, then develop the film and hand out the pictures as letters. V-Mail usually arrives in a week.
Korean War: Civilian ham-radio operators relay messages home.
Vietnam War: Soldiers at a few bases have access to commercial phones.
Gulf War: Banks of mobile phones are set up near the front lines.

- Laura Elizabeth Pohl
Photo Credit: MICHAEL YOHEY (Daniel Mahoney); STEVEN PUMPHREY (Mahoney family) for USA WEEKEND