Issue date: Jan 24, 1999

STRAIGHT TALK
By Jeffrey Zaslow (Zaslow is an advice columnist for the Chicago Sun-Times.)

In this article:
Advice bits
Write to Dylan McDermott for advice

Dylan McDermott:

The star of the popular TV drama The Practice lost his mother at age 5. What helps a kid grow up without a parent? "Constructive anger."

ven though he was just 5 when his mother died, actor Dylan McDermott has very clear memories of her. "Good memories," he says. Ask most people to recollect details about their parents from those earliest years and few could do it. "If you lost your mom, you could," McDermott says softly. "It's all you have."

The star of ABC's legal drama The Practice (10 p.m. ET Sundays) - the show and McDermott are up for Golden Globe awards this Sunday - traces his personality and career to his mom's death. "When you lose a parent young, it hardens you to life. Then you make a decision. Either you give in to it or you get back at it. Anger drove me to be ambitious. Anger - really constructive anger - is great."

It's a rainy day on the Hollywood lot where The Practice is filmed, and McDermott's blue eyes and thin smile stand out in the grayness. A mix of intensity and self-deprecating humor, he talks of the movies he's made, including In the Line of Fire and Steel Magnolias (he played Julia Roberts' love interest on- and offscreen). He's now married to an actress, Shiva; they have a 2 1/2-year-old daughter.

McDermott, 36, is a long way from the Irish taverns his dad owned in New York's Greenwich Village. He spent his youth in those bars, and began channeling his anger through acting. "My mom's death was the kind of loss that made me feel invisible. Acting made me visible. It's like what [Laurence] Olivier said about why he became an actor: 'I want you to see me.' "

McDermott can be very critical of himself. A few years ago, he sat alone watching videos of all his movies - eight at that time - one after another. He liked only "moments" of his McDermott Film Festival. "It was a painful day." Yet he's glad he did it. The constructive anger that can accompany self-reflection is "a hard journey," he says. But there's a payoff: "You deal with yourself."

ADVICE BITS

On movie role models: "People long for someone to look up to. Gregory Peck in [To Kill a Mockingbird], I've always thought: That's what a man is."

On picking a real lawyer: "Get references. If you look in the phone book," you don't know what you'll get. "There are so many bad lawyers."

The best formula for a legal drama: "It's nice to mix law and romance." As in L.A. Law? "Yes, but that was cheesy. [The Practice] is a lot less cheesy. It's low-fat."

Play mind games: McDermott plays chess every day. "You can help the other player beat himself. When he's about to move, say things like 'Be careful.' It puts him on edge."

ASK McDERMOTT FOR ADVICE

Dylan McDermott will write or call a reader who seeks advice. By Jan. 31, write to "Straight Talk," P.O. Box 3455, Chicago, Ill. 60654 (fax: 312-661-0375; e-mail: talk@usaweekend.com).