Q&A with Matthew Perry
By Gayle Jo Carter

Matthew Perry, famous as Chandler on Friends and now on the big screen in Three to Tango, is reaching a new chapter in life. He's just turned 30 and says he's realized lately that friends (and family -- he has five half siblings) are a lot more important and lasting than the rocket to fame he's been riding the last five years. The wisecracking comedian still comes out in small riffs during the interview, but the ready-to-settle-down Matthew Perry is the real surprise.

Q. What type of hair products do you have on today?
Well, it's a two-product combo. It's a boring ritual. It's kind of Something About Mary kind of hair. But it's something called Crew; it's a white stuff. You just put it on when it's wet and go to town.

Q. Is there a defining difference between generations in Hollywood? What's different about you at 30?
A 19-year-old actor would actually say that he's the best actor. A 29-year-old wouldn't say that. That's why they take 19-year-olds out to war, because they have this feeling they can do no wrong. ... I've had some successes and some failures. If we did this interview when I was 18, it would be completely different. When I was 18, I was on a show called Second Chance. It was ranked, I believe, 101st out of 101 shows. [Close enough -- it was No. 119 out of 123.] That's when I had an attitude.

Q. Does it worry you that when Friends is over, things will change?
I do think about that. But you're hitting me at a most confident time, because I've just finished this movie [The Whole Nine Yards] that is really good. And more importantly, kind of for the first time, I had fun making a movie. I wasn't that big a fan before this of the process. But on this movie, I actually had a great time.

Q: So in the past six years, you've changed. Who has been your support system?
When the rain started to fall? My family. When I was in a troubled situation a couple of years ago, they were completely there. My mom and my dad and close friends. I have a group of about five close friends,[who were] really great. My girlfriend at the time was amazing, too.

Q. Are they the ones who pushed you to get help?
No, I kind of knew the whole time. I knew I was in trouble and yet I knew I had work to do still. And basically, I knew I was in trouble in February of that year and couldn't do anything about it until April. And I said to myself, as soon as I'm done working, I'll take care of this, which was exactly what I did.

Q: Was it hard to admit that?
Yes -- the hardest thing I've ever gone through in my life. Because you're not sure what happened, and it's embarrassing. Once you get through something like that, your life changes. I challenge some people to go through what I went through.

Q. What would you tell people who need help?
Well, the best thing I can tell you is that if you think there's a problem, go right now and tell somebody -- right away -- which is really a difficult thing to do. The truth is that anything I can say to anyone who has a problem wouldn't really help them unless they obviously decide to fix it themselves. When I was going through my pain, nobody could say anything.

Q. Did people try to say things?
Yeah, but I always had an excuse. People in that sort of situation lie about everything. There are people in the know, counselors, who can really help and are cool people, not just bumper-sticker talk people. There's help out there, and once you get through something like that, your life changes.

Q. Why do you think there's so much substance abuse among actors or do you think it's the same as with the general population but just more public?
I think it's both. Part of it has to do with that you get amazingly too much an amount of attention just thrown at you, and it's difficult to figure out; do you deserve the attention, do you? Why is this happening and will it continue? No one told me to be an actor. I wanted to be an actor. I wanted to get the attention. I wanted to get the girls. I wanted to get the best table at the restaurant. And it wasn't until about a year and a half into it, where it was kind of no turning back, that I realized that, 'No, that's not the reason to become an actor.' There's, like, little nice things about all those perks, but there's also really bad things that go along with it. Like, I want to take my little brother and sister to Magic Mountain. Can't! Can't really do that anymore.

Q. Is it too much money? Is that part of the issue?
There's a very bizarre thing with 18- and 19-year-olds walking around with a lot of money. That's a bizarre thing. That wasn't an issue with me, because I never really thought or cared about money that much. As long as I can do whatever I want tomorrow. I'm lucky enough to be in that position. But if you ask me how much money I had, I wouldn't know. But I've been lucky enough that if I want to go on vacation tomorrow, I can. That's kind of the way I think about money. Much of it goes to my business manager, someone who's a lot more responsible.

Q: Did your parents' divorce have a big effect on you?
I was one, so I had no idea. But it's had an effect on me later on in life. It was tough. I grew up mostly just with my mom. It would have been nice to have a dad around. But what it taught me was that when I have a kid, I want to really know. I know that's imposible because things change, but I want to be very careful before I have a child, so I don't put them through that.

Q: Were you lonely?
Hey, are you Barbara Walters? Was I lonely? Of course, but I had friends. I think that's ultimately why I developed some kind of sense of humor -- to shield any hurt I was experiencing. It's served me well.

Q. What's the most important thing your dad ever taught you?
It's twofold: all of this doesn't matter unless you're a good guy and have stuff other than this, so that your life is well-rounded. And that actually has been tough, because I've been lucky enough to be so busy in the last five years that I haven't really had time -- I've missed all that other stuff.

Q: Say you're 35. What's your ideal life?
A wife. Kids. A couple. Two is good. I'd have a friend to play with every night. By 35 -- I'd love being married by then. I'm a big fan of the institution. [And at work,] like Tom Hanks, being in the kind of situation where you get the best scripts.

Q: Who would be your wife?
The biggest thing is that she's happy and funny. Attractive would be nice. Not crazy -- that's a good thing to look for. ... Somebody who's a great mother. ... A friend of mine just got married. He said in his vows that he promised -- I just love this! -- to work and play with her. That's what I'm looking forward to: someone to work and play with.

Q: Is this a good time in your life?
It's the best time. Now and when Friends was just starting, all the newness. Just the stupid, giggling-under-my-blanket "Look at what's happening to me." Now, it's settling time. If the show stopped, I would be fine. I'm pretty confident in the other aspects of my career now. ... But I'm still loving the show. My favorite thing to do is the show.

Q. Does everybody feel that way?
It depends. You know, you either catch people ... like catch me in three weeks, I might be saying something different, but I think everybody still has a lot of fun doing the show. We're proud of the end product from week to week. Like you say, compared to the other stuff that's on, you know it's pretty much the only thing people are still watching and getting excited about. And I know that I will never, for the rest of my life, work with a group that is this talented and this tight. That'll never happen again. I know that. There's no way! Uh, we've bonded in such a way, because our lives have changed so dramatically, so quickly. The only people we can relate to are ourselves. So there's a lot of love there, and there's a tremendous amount of talent there. It's a time in our lives that will ultimately end. Because it was the first time for all of us, too, it'll never be like that.

Q: As time goes on, have you become more or less like Chandler?
As he gets older, I get older. He no longer fears relationships. I no longer have that fear. And what I've always said is that he is just a little bit better dressed and a little bit funnier and a little bit more exaggerated than I am. But even if I truly calm down in my life, he can't. Because happy people are very boring people to watch on television.

Q. Right.
We're all losers, every single one of them. That's what Friends was from the beginning. And then when people started talking about the haircuts, and then we got famous, and we were on the cover of everything, people forgot that. But the truth of the matter is that if you look at each one of these six people, they're still losers.

Q. I guess people relate to them. They like to watch them because they feel better about themselves.
They feel better about themselves, and they relate to the negative aspects of the show. They try to do shows where people are happy, and who cares? Why would you watch it? You'd want to watch people struggle with something in life.

Q: What do you obsess about?
This is going to sound crazy, but I must be watching sports while I eat -- if I'm at home. Any sport will do. The other day, out of desperation, [I watched] a miniature-golf tournament. That's the weirdest thing you can say about me.

Q. Do you worry?
Yeah, not anywhere near as much as I used to. I used to have a lot of career concerns: 'Am I doing the right thing?' And relationships with women ... I used to think that there was something wrong because I wasn't in a good one. But, you know, there's less of that now. Actually, I'm sleeping at night.

Q. What would be surprising to know about you?
Surprising about me? [I'm] kind of a romantic guy, not a lot of people know that.

Q. What would be your best romantic evening for you?
Two people just listening to each other, laughing and having a good time, is a really wonderful thing. Pretty places to walk. Quiet places. I'm a big candle guy; I like lighting candles and listening to music.

Q. Have you seen Eyes Wide Shut? [Interview took place July '99 after movie opened
Yeah. I think I'm still seeing it. That's how long it is. Have you heard my answering machine?

Q. No.
My answering machine says: "I'm not home right now, I'm still watching Eyes Wide Shut. Ping. Ping."

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PHOTO CREDIT: El Camp for USA WEEKEND