I tend to have relationships with guys who break up with me because they're 'not ready to commit.' Then, they end up engaged to the next woman they date! Is it just me?
C.U., New York
No, you're not the only one. Lots of women are what I call 'jar looseners' - you loosen the lid on his ability to commit, and the next girl gets the satisfying 'popping' sound of a proposal.
This isn't a reflection on your girlfriend skills. In fact, the many guys I've spoken to who have left long-term relationships, only to get engaged soon into their next one, say that being with a wonderful woman who treated them well made them crave commitment.
If you're working overtime to be the perfect girlfriend, change how you approach relationships. Don't be exclusive with a man until you've gotten to know him (give it at least five months) and he's pulling out all the stops to get you to be his one and only.
When you become a couple, let him know that although you don't expect to get engaged immediately, you do want to know that you're both headed in the same direction. If he can't be optimistic about your future right then and there, then you're probably not on the same page.
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