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Q: My friends say I'm way too picky. I think going after “high-end” men shows that I'm confident and know I deserve the best. Otherwise, aren't you settling for less?N.I., Texas

A: If you haven't had a successful relationship in a while, your friends may be right.

A potential boyfriend you view as “high-end” actually may be “out of your league.” If he's not interested, that doesn't mean you aren't smart, pretty or talented. Maybe he's being an excessively picky dater, just like you are.

Think about what “high-end” means to you. Is that a man who's very wealthy, handsome and popular? Are you living beyond your comfort level, financially and otherwise, to meet these kinds of men? If so, you're setting yourself up for failure. Thinking that only the guys on everyone else's “most eligible” lists are worth your time is basically relationship sabotage.
Instead, select a man who would be good with you, not for you. Think about your strengths and goals, then look around your immediate social circle for someone who shares them. I'll bet there are plenty of men there who have been wondering when you'll finally notice.

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Dennie Hughes is the author of Dateworthy and has been a consultant for Match.com and an AOL Love Coach. She has appeared on the Today show, Rachael Ray, Good Morning America, The Early Show, The View and CNN's American Morning. She writes USA WEEKEND's RelationTips column. Send her your questions and comments.