What's wrong with grandma?

My mother was diagnosed with senile dementia, and she will soon be coming to live with us. The problem is that my 8-year-old — who used to love being with grandma — has become scared of her. How can I ease her fears?

J.S., Minn.

A: According to the Alzheimer's Association (alz.org), yours is a health care issue shared by many families across the country. According to its 2009 Alzheimer's Disease Facts & Figures report, the lives of more than 250,000 American children ages 8 to 18 are affected by a person who suffers some degree of dementia. (Alzheimer's disease accounts for 50%-80% of those dementia cases.)

As hard as it is for the adult child who is watching a parent slip away, it's even more devastating for a little one who doesn't fully grasp the situation. The good news: Kids are resilient, ready to absorb and learn, and especially interested in helping out — that is, when they feel their parent respects them.

To help conquer your daughter's fears, be honest about what her grandmother is going through, give her some time to think about it, encourage her to ask questions, and then give her a great “Here's what you can do to help” job to make her feel in control.