A simple way to keep your family humming

Do you schedule a meeting with your family each week? Chances are, you don't. But designating a time and place to sit down together each week keeps your family connected and has a way of taking the edge off contentious discussions.

Why meet?

Jan Miksovsky, co-founder of Cozi.com, the online family calendar and organizer, is so committed to family meetings that his family has met every Sunday for the past six years. They see three big benefits of a weekly family meeting:

— It's a safe and productive way to discuss problems and rules.

— It prepares the family for upcoming events and activities.

— It gives children a clear and tangible voice in the family.

Start with a plan.

First, choose a time and place so the family looks forward to the meeting, like over dessert.

And it's important to have an agenda, even if it's loose and flexible. For ideas, here is the Miksovsky family meeting agenda:

Thank-yous. Each family member thanks another for something in the past week.

White-board items. The Miksovskys have a white board in the home to jot down problems that come up during the week. One child is unhappy about another using his toys? Having trouble getting the kids in bed on time? Chores not getting done? Instead of trying to solve these problems in the heat of the moment, the white board is an easy outlet for recording the problem. During the white-board part of the family meeting, the family discusses solutions to problems, and all parties have a voice. Miksovsky notes, however, that parents agree to listen, but the ultimate decision on how to resolve the problems and enforce household rules is up to them.

The family calendar. Go over upcoming events, changes to the usual routine, family plans and holidays so everyone gets on the same page about the week's schedule. The children get excited about special events like a birthday party; plus, they get prepared for the dull stuff, too, like running errands with Mom or cleaning the house before guests arrive. You can even go over the meal plan for the week to help avoid last-minute negotiations.

Rewards. A nice way to close the meeting is to rotate a household privilege. The Miksovskys let their girls decide what to eat for one dinner meal the next week.