These tips also keep the fire burning with your spouse. / Digital Vision / Getty Images
Having been called a real-life version of Will Smith’s matchmaking character in the movie Hitch, Paul Carrick Brunson has helped a variety of clients find love in this modern day. His new book, It’s Complicated (But It Doesn’t Have to Be): A Modern Guide to Finding and Keeping Love, advises people on simplifying their love lives.
Meant for more. Brunson says four things can signal relationship potential. First, you must be attracted physically.
Second, notice the “non-starters.” “Non-starters are not your preferences but your needs,” he says. If you’re asthmatic, a smoker wouldn’t be a good choice.
Third, recognize your partner’s personality type. If you can have a free flow of communication, then you know you have chemistry.
Finally, it’s about sharing the same values. “Values play out over time. That’s why it’s important to date.”
Using the Web. Brunson is all for online dating sites. “Over 50% of US singles have said they use websites,” says Brunson. The problem: Singles don’t effectively use sites, their profiles are poorly made, and “that’s 90% of the decision. A great profile is going to yield you interest while you’re sleeping.”
Holding on. Already married? Brunson says your work has just begun. “When you get married, you have to work harder — but you enjoy the work. If you want to keep the fire burning, you have to tend to the coals. If you get comfortable, that’s when things can go wrong.”