"I won't lie to you, folks. This place needs a little work."

"And please, don't let my generation's only contribution to culture be tongue-piercing."

"Guilty!"

"It's just a formality, but I'll also need a lock of your hair for DNA analysis."

The Seven Dwarfs for the '90s

"Yeah, they're filling, but I've really got a craving for carbohydrates."

"On this model, the wife and kids are factory-installed."

"May I have your name for our customer database, and would you like a prospectus about our IPO?"

"Hey, we should celebrate -- I've been wrong about everything for a whole year."

"I think it would be a good idea if you took some time from your Web site to play with your father."

"We used them when I was about your age. It's called a toy."